


[S] Pose Dramatically

by ZPaladin



Category: Homestuck, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Stands (JoJo), Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Dialogue Heavy, Not Beta Read, Okuyasu and Keicho still live in tokyo in this, Recreational Drug Use, SBURB (Homestuck), Violent Thoughts, Yukako being the Team Rose, Z can't write josuke for shit but that's everyone else's problem now, may also be inaccurate to some degree cause this is my first time actually trying to WRITE homestuck, more things will be tagged as I write more, prospit funtimes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2020-09-23 09:50:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20338162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZPaladin/pseuds/ZPaladin
Summary: Six players in Japan prepare for a journey they could never expect...A bizarre adventure, if you will.(Slow to update due to 10 hour work shifts)





	1. Act 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how fast this will update because I'm flying by the seat of my pants here and I'm also working on getting a job.
> 
> I've never written homestuck before but I've been thinking about jojostuck quite a bit on my tumblrs and decided to roll with it.

_ Golden cities stretch along an equally golden moon, the carapacians going about the day to day that only they could know the specifics of. Today's was a parade: a waking parade. Skaia showed that one dreamer would wake soon, and the queen seemed quite certain it would be today! The agents had spent a lot of time and paperwork getting this ready: a great band of horn players and a float of flowers and confetti would be quite the welcome party! The king was quite excited, taking his queen’s hand and dancing as the bands played throughout the day. Eventually, they could spot something from a dreaming tower: a silhouette! The citizens cheered up to their prince, as far as he was, and motioned for him to come greet his people and mingle in the merry making! They hesitated, but surely they must just be having pre-parade nerves! Slowly, they emerged from the tower and descended, trying not to look down. The king and queen went to meet him first at touch down, but the queen stopped when she saw him. He was small and shaking, either scared from the height of his descent or from something else. He kept looking away from his people, even as the bands played. The queen crouched down to meet the boy's eyes, finding pale lavender framed by deep fresh cuts from the world of the waking… _

* * *

testyHoosegow [TH] began pestering lovestruckDesire [LD]

[TH] Yo Yukako! Jotaro wants to know if you want in on a game we’re gonna play.

[LD] Wait, Jotaro plays videogames?

[LD] Nevermind, that’s not important.

[LD] You actually want me to play? This isn’t just a pity inclusion?

[TH] Yeah Jotaro said it would be better with more people and Koichi wanted you to play but he’s busy convincing Rohan.

[lD] I'm not sure if I should be touched for being included or offended for being picked after Rohan.

[TH] Its not that we want him in more than you its just we all know how he is.

[TH] Koichid be the most likely to get him to join in.

[TH] He's gonna say yes though I know that.

[LD] Well then give me the elevator pitch. What would I be getting into?

[TH] Jotaro apparently didnt wanna tell us too much about it but I know quite a bit already.

[tH] Its a massive game that we all can play together in real time! My dreams may be over hyping it but it looks like it could be like movie quality! 

[lD] ...Yeah I think I'll just ask Koichi. Nothing personal: I just don't really trust dreams to be accurate for anything.

[TH] Oh alright. I can at least say I tried right?

[LD] Mm.

lovestruckDesire[LD] ceased pestering testyHoosegow[TH]

Okuyasu leaned back in his chair, looking at the download files Jotaro had sent him. He moved them from the downloads to his desktop before idly poking at minesweeper. He didn’t 100% know the reasoning of minesweeper, he took it more as a game of chance. He just needed something to pass the time and his brother would probably get on his ass if he slowed the internet down any more than the laggy shit already was, even with being as high in the shittly little apartment complex as they were. Playing this game of Jotaro’s would be a problem if he knew he wasn’t already going to do it: Keicho or no Keicho.

testyHoosegow [TH] began pestering honoredDeliverance [HD]

[TH] Rohan I got a question.

[HD] ✒ Didn’t I block you already, Nijimura?

[TH] No that was last week. 

[TH] Anyway I know youre talkin to Koichi but something has been bugging me.

[HD] ✒ Fine but be quick about it.

[TH] Okay okay! So uh what do you know about dreams and shit?

[HD] ✒ I’m not a psychologist.

[TH] I know that but like is it normal to like dream of the same place every time? And its not even a real place?

[HD] ✒ Repeating dreams are usually a result of a nagging stress you have yet to resolve.

[TH] Heres the thing tho its not like the same thing happening every time. I just always end up there.

[HD] ✒ Well have you undergone some form of trauma? Some other unresolved issues in your life?

[TH] What about when you have something happen in a dream somewhere and then it happens later?

[HD] ✒ You didn’t answer my question.

testyHoosegow [TH] ceased pestering honoredDeliverance [HD]

He figured Okuyasu would bail on the topic if he was correct. He recalls some while ago where he had a similar repeated dreams, but it was nothing therapy couldn’t fix for him. He wasn’t even avoiding the content of the dreams, so it couldn’t have been a resurfacing flashback or a night terror unless he had gotten better at lying overnight. He decided to drop this train of thought once he had to remember the very fact that he needed therapy and returned to his pages, glancing over to his other chat windows between each finished work. He was ahead of schedule but that’s no excuse to be lazy, after all.

ecentricEvolutionary [EE] began pestering honoredDeliverance [HD]

[EE] Jotaro wanted to know if you could play a game with us.

[EE] I know you’re busy but he made it seem, like, really important.

[EE] You can say no, obviously, but he seemed like he really wanted you to play.

[EE] So yeah….

[HD] ✒ Okay

[EE] And we can just

[EE] Oh. 

[EE] Oh you’re cool with it?

[HD] ✒ Koichi

[HD] ✒ Are you aware how ahead of schedule I am? And how “concerned” my editors are?

[HD] ✒ I could ignore them but them asking me to slow down for the sake of my wrists and what have you has grown to be painfully annoying.

[HD] ✒ So yes, I am cool with it.

[EE] Huh. Josuke made this seem like it’d take, like, a day to get you to play.

[HD] ✒ Josuke...He isn’t playing too, is he?

[EE] He is but

[HD] ✒ No

[EE] OH COME ON!

Koichi tried to not bang on his keyboard, but Rohan, in being Rohan, had the talent of just pushing all the wrong buttons with people. His stupid grudge with Josuke had been going on way too long, even when Josuke says time and time again that it wasn’t his fault his house caught fire! It was his magnifying glass, his windows, his desk, his choices! If they do play this game, he is going to make it his personal mission to either get those two to stop being such fucking pissbabies about arson, or join Josuke in the “On Rohan’s Shitlist For His Own Problems” club. He sent him the download files anyway cause hey, if he manages to get his spikey head out of his vacuum sealed ass, he could play and at least just ignore Josuke; you know, like a real adult. As he huffed in his chair, he saw a new chat open…

woundsBeyond [WB] began trolling ecentricEvolutionary [EE]

[EE] Hello? Do I know you from somewhere?

[WB] No, you don’t know me, and that’s how things should be.

[WB] I am a friend of Jotaro's though.

[WB] Rohan's too.

[WB] I’m sorry if the ‘Trolling’ tag has put you off. Pesterchum does not allow me to talk to you from where I am.

[WB] You’re going to be playing with this Rohan, correct? I saw him receive the file from you.

[EE] Wh

[EE] Okay, I’m not gonna question how you know this can track that and assume you’re the one who gave Jotaro the base code stuff.

[WB] You’re correct, actually.

[EE] Oh okay neat.

[EE] Anyway, yeah I’m gonna be playing with Jotaro and them but Rohan says he won’t play if Josuke does.

[WB] That is very much like Rohan, even if I don’t know who this Josuke is. That doesn’t matter.

[WB] He’s going to play because that is the kind of person he is: curious and spiteful.

[WB] And I’m sure one of you has already convinced your final party member seeing how there are now 6 versions of my files bouncing between sections of Japan.

[EE] Oh, Okuyasu must have gotten Yukako the files. But I’m not sure if she’s down to play though.

[WB] We’ll find out in a few seconds.

[WB] Until next time.

woundsBeyond [WB] ceased trolling ecentricEvolutionary [EE]

Well that was fucking weird. Where did Jotaro even meet this dude? Wait, shit, what if he was lying and was just a really good hacker? And what does he mean by a few seconds?  
Wait-

lovestruckDesire [LD] began pestering ecentricEvolutionary [EE]

[LD] Koichi, can we talk?

[EE] oh

[EE] Oh S H I T

[LD] Is something the matter?

[EE] Nono its just

[EE] A troll kinda got to me…

[EE] What’s up?

[LD] Okuyasu said you all wanted me to play a game with you.

[LD] I got the files from him but I wanna be sure I know what’s going on before anything.

[EE] Oh! Jotaro said it was an RPG sorta deal. He said it was kinda hard but he thinks we can all beat it together.

[EE] Never heard of it before, so maybe it's some niche dad thing.

[LD] Do you want to play it? Genuinely?

[EE] Yeah, I think so. I mean, I can stall studying for finals a little bit…

[LD] I’ll play then, but only if you promise to ace your finals.

[EE] WHAT!?

[LD] I care about your future, Koichi, you know this. We can study when we’re done or when no one else wants to play anymore, okay?

[EE] Fine. You should tell Jotaro you’re playing then.

[LD] Okay. <3

lovestruckDesire [LD] ceased pestering ecentricEvolutionary [EE]

crystallizedDelinquent [CD] began pestering seastarPatriarc [SP]

[CD] just got back from the store so what’s poppin?

[SP] Everyone has the game and we just have to set up who is connected to who. >゜))))彡

[CD] okay I can start messaging people.

[SP] The tutorial has a timer after a bit so we can’t let one distract the other. >゜))))彡

[SP] You can connect to Koichi, then him to Yukako, then her to Okuyasu, then him to Rohan, then him to me, then me to you. Got it? >゜))))彡

[CD] yeah, i think so. so i start as….

[SP] You can start as the server player to Koichi. So tell him to boot the client up after you tell everyone else what is up.>゜))))彡

[CD] got it!!! i’ll just screenshot this and send it to everybody if that’s cool.

[SP] That’s fine, we just need to have this done right. >゜))))彡

[SP] Server players: you have to place down every machine that starts out free to place. Be sure that the client player can get to them, even if you have to edit some things to let that happen. >゜))))彡

[SP] Client players: you will see a circular flashing thing emerge from one of the machines once you take its lid off. You have to put at least one thing into it and a max of two. This is when the countdown starts. >゜))))彡

[CD] woah, Jotaro, hold on. I gotta write this shit down or something.

[SP] Client players will get what looks like a punched cartridge: put it into the machine labeled the totem lathe alongside a pillar of a material that comes from the top of the machine you took the lid from. Then you can put that into the machine with the large pad, the alchemizer, and it should make the artifact that finishes the tutorial and stops the timer. >゜))))彡

[SP] Got all that? >゜))))彡

[CD] i think so? fuck that’s a lot, dude.

[SP] It only sounds like a lot. It’s actually not all too much to do. You only have to worry once the timer starts so you both have time to adjust to things.

[CD] okay i guess that makes me feel a bit better then… i guess i’ll start sending this out and we can start the chain.

crystallizedDelinquent [CD] ceased pestering seastarPatriarc [SP]

* * *

woundsBeyond [WB] began trolling seastarPatriarc [SP]

[WB] Do you think they can actually do this?

[SP] I hope they can. That’s all I can really do for now. >゜))))彡

[WB] I hope so too.

[WB] They seem nice.

[WB] I hope I get to meet them some day. In person, I mean.

[SP] If they win, then you can. >゜))))彡

[WB] Then I’ll be sure to help too, Jotaro.

[WB] B)

[SP] I have to go again. >゜))))彡

[WB] Best of luck.

woundsBeyond [WB] ceased trolling seastarPatriarc [SP]


	2. Act 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate Titles:   
How To Annoy Your Client Player  
Game Physics and Tomfoolery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the entry started but this section was so long I wanted to make the entries a sub-act.
> 
> Since AO3 doesn't allow changing color so I'll just put the colors here.  
Jotaro - #182060 - Deep Blue/Indigo  
Josuke - #962BFF - Bright Purple  
Okuyasu - #2A4A7C - Cobalt  
Koichi - #668E00 - "Limeonade" green  
Yukako - #88527F - Pale Lavender  
Rohan - #006B2A - Cadmium Green
> 
> WB - #585858 - Ashen

After the longest chain of sent screenshots, Josuke started to boot up his server to connect with Koichi and opened his client to Jotaro. As the loading bars ticked, Josuke stretched and leaned back in his chair, tabbing between chats with Jotaro and Koichi to see if they connected.

[EE] Dude! I connected and I can see into Yukako’s house!

[CD] wait what the fuck!?

He looked to his own server screen, seeing Koichi look into his own computer to see him looking at his own server, though he couldn’t really see the screen all too well like this. It was like those illusions you’d see in a circus with a bunch of mirrors but instead of a bunch of you, you get to peep on a friend. Koichi’s room was as tidy as you would expect from a kid like him, the only messy thing being an unmade bed and some pants legs sticking out from his dresser drawers. An old bloodhound was laying at the foot of his bed too, either asleep or dead based on how little it moved.

[CD] i can see into your house too! holy shit this is kewl!

[CD] i didn’t know you had a dog, dude!

[EE] Oh yeah, uh, that’s Police.

[EE] To be honest, this is kinda creepy to me: looking into people’s houses like this.

[EE] But I guess we’re all working on this stuff now so it’s not like

[EE] Actually peeping on them you know?

[CD] i guess?

[CD] i’m gonna plonk one of these machine things down somewhere.

Josuke pulled down one of the menus, deciding to pluck the lathe out. Koichi’s room was kinda small, so he decided to move to a different room of the house. Past a hallway and a few assumed bedrooms that he was NOT going to peep into, he reached a fairly big living room parlor thing.

[CD] dude how stacked is your mom??? this shit is nice!

[EE] Be careful if you move anything, okay? Please?

[EE] Wait, can you even move stuff?

[EE] HOLY CRAP YOU CAN! HOW???

[CD] bro, chill. I’ll be careful.

He picked up the china cabinet, but quickly found that the cursor has no idea what the word careful means: the abrupt lifting of the massive cabinet causing all of the precarious, fragile tableware to spill outwards with a thunderous amount of crashing. He kept moving the now china-less cabinet to make room for all the other machines; if he was going to make a mess, he would make it with purpose. He used the sofa to sweep the shards of china out into the front lawn as much as he could before moving the sofa to stand upright against a wall. He poised the cruxtruder and alchemiter down before returning to his chat window.

[EE] JOSUKE I SWEAR TO F U C K I N G GOD IF THAT WAS MY MOM’S CABINET I JUST HEARD, I’M GONNA GO F U C K I N G APES H I T!

[CD] dude chill! it was on accident! I needed to move it and then the shit just fell out!

[EE] My mom is gonna kill me then I’m going to haunt your ENTIRE A S S, Josuke.

[EE] F U C K I N G Paranormal A s stivity, Josuke.

[CD] look, i’m sorry. i can just buy your mom some plates and it’ll be chill.

[CD] here, take this card thingy and put it in the lathe thing when you’re done with yukako.

[EE] I’ll put you in the f u c k i n lathe…

* * *

Yukako’s room was...not at all what Koichi was expecting. The walls were lined with music posters and cutesy wall art alike, an ICP poster catching his eye first just by the steep contrast between the light lavender walls and the hard black, reds and yellows. Yukako was sitting at her own computer, looking like she was trying not to laugh at something, with a bottle of shitty soda besides her large plush bed.

[EE] ….You know….this makes sense….

[LD] Hm?

[EE] Nevermind!

[EE] Let me just, uh, put the stuff down.

[LD] The garage has a lot of free space. My dad never uses it.

[EE] Okay let me just look for it.

He zooms out to find that her own house was more of a villa than anything, similar to the house she had used as a temporary prison for him before she went to therapy. Ah, good times….and by good he means kinda traumatizing but only a little...Wait…

[EE] Yukako, is this THAT house?

[LD] I was going to tell you eventually.

[LD] I was afraid that me telling you it was my family’s summer house at the time would only make you want me for my family’s money.

[EE] It really wouldn’t’ve mattered to me.

[EE] I mean, I was kinda busy being kidnapped and scared.

[LD] Did….Did you just do a double contraction?

[LD] Is that even legal?

[EE] I mean we say it like that all the time, right?

[EE] When was the last time you’ve said, in full, “would not have” or even “wouldn’t have”

[LD] I suppose you’re right but just seeing it feels like a crime against language.

[EE] Okay we’re losing the point here: gotta put these things in the garage now.

He focused on the garage and zoomed in, revealing a semi-expensive looking boat resting inside alongside a familiar half-built electric chair. He looked around but couldn’t quite find a switch to open the garage door.

[EE] Can you open the garage?

[LD] Can’t you get in?

[EE] Yeah but there’s a boat in here.

[EE] And I probably can’t just take things out the top without busting a hole in the roof.

[EE] Trust me: Josuke just broke some of my mom’s stuff that way.

[LD] Can’t you take the door itself off?

[EE] Oh! I didn’t think of that, hold on.

He brings the cursor over and highlights the door. With a click, the door came free alongside part of the garage.

[EE] Oops…

[LD] It’s fine. We know good contractors. 

[LD] Just lean the door on the side of it before you move things, okay?

He gave the rest of the garage a wide berth as he moved the door to its side. Without a proper vertical rotate option, he stood it upright hoping it would fall to lean against the garage. Instead, it fell flat onto the lawn beside it. That would have to be good enough, at least for now. He maneuvered the boat out onto the lawn as well, placing it gently into the grass before he pulled down the machine list.

Lathe, Cruxtruder, Alchemiter: all lined up in a garage that seemed just the size for it.

[EE] I’ll leave the punched card thing in the garage too so you can put it in that lathe thing.

[LD] Okay. I’ll do that once I’m done with this.

[LD] Typing is hard right now.

[EE] What are you even laughing so hard at?

[EE] Are you snorting?

[LD] I’m sorry I have to deal with this.

[LD] Deep breaths. Composure time...

* * *

[TH] YUKAKO IF YOU TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS IM DRIVING TO MORIOH TO FIGHT YOU! >:xC

[LD] Okuyasu, it’s okay.

[LD] I’m sure a lot of manly guys enjoy…

[LD] What even is that? A squid?

[TH] …..It’s a squiddle….

[TH] I used to watch the show as a kid okay?

[TH] Its like a nostalgia thing.

[TH] Don’t make it weird!

Okuyasu leaned against his dresser, various poorly concealed limbs forming a crown of shame the likes of which could rival any laurels. He wasn’t ready to have what little privacy he had being virtually drop kicked. Of all of his friends, Yukako was the worst possible outcome other than Josuke. Josuke would probably blow it off as something else even through the awkwardness of the initial discovery. Yukako doesn’t forget...let alone let you forget...

[TH] And dont make this into a self improvement thing!

[TH] Just cause you can get therapy doesnt mean you get to therapize me!

[LD] That...doesn’t seem like a word.

[TH] You know what I mean!

[LD] I do.

[LD] And I wouldn’t force you to take my advice.

[TH] ….

[LD] Yes I know how that sounds but that was before therapy.

[LD] And Koichi now willingly takes my advice.

[TH] Just put the shit down Yukako…

She looked around and found a less than stellar apartment...Bunk bed, so this must only be a 2 bedroom apartment, beer bottles in the megar excuse of a kitchen, many of which lay broken near a trash can overflowing with take out boxes, with his brother passed out on the sofa with the tv on. The whole place looked like the family had stocked up on red flags...

[LD] Where should I put these?

[LD] It’s not like we have a lot of space to work with here…

[TH] Throw my dads shit through the wall.

[TH] I have a feeling hes not coming home from work.

[LD] Is this feeling from your dreams too?

[LD] You mentioned them before so I thought I’d ask.

[TH] Kinda?

[TH] None of my dreams have my dad in it.

[TH] Bro is in them sometimes but not a lot.

[LD] Hm.

[TH] God I can practically hear the notes being taken.

[TH] Here let me lie on my back like they do in all those tv show bits and bitch about how my family.

[LD] You’re free to do that if you want. 

[LD] I’ll focus on placing things.

She looked into the room besides Okuyasu’s, finding an absolute mess of a “master bedroom”. It was just one shittily made double bed and various other bedroom furnishings of similar shittiness. There was, however, two prescription bottles that caught her eye.

[LD] Pain killers?

[TH] Oh dont chuck the pills!

[TH] Strong painkillers and antidepressants.

[LD] You don’t use these, do you?

[TH] No but they’re the only meds in the house other than neosporin and a prayer.

[LD] You know you can talk to me about things like this?

[LD] Any of us, really.

[TH] Just put the damn things down!

[TH] I’m not some sad junkie kid okay?

[TH] I’m thinking ahead for once! Trying to make good fuckin choices and shit! 

[TH] God damn it!

[LD] I’m sorry...I guess I did step out of line…

[LD] ...I’m gonna be quiet and put these down now….

[TH] Oh dont triple dot me.

[LD] What?

[TH] Thats a pause and with that placement it reads like guilt tripping.

[TH] Youre trying to make this my fault arent you?

[LD] ….

[TH] Dont like it when that shit happens to you, huh?

[LD] I am sorry, Okuyasu. I’m sorry that it came off that way. I didn’t mean it and I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings.

[TH] Okay.

[TH] Can you for real ease up on the therapist thing too? Shit makes me mad uncomfortable.

[LD] Okay, I can stop. You can tell me to stop if I slip up on accident but know my offers for help are there if you want me or anyone else to just listen, okay?

[TH] Okay. Now plonk down those bad boys while I steal my bro’s gun.

[LD] HIS WHAT!?

Yukako frantically dropped all the machines haphazardly around the bedroom after frantically shoving the bed out the window. She shot her view to the other bedroom, finding Okuyasu digging around under the bunk bed, reemerging with a metal box opening to reveal a single handgun.

[LD] WHY THE HELL IS THERE A GUN DOWN THERE!?

[TH] Burglars.

[LD] AND WHY DO YOU NEED IT NOW!?

[TH] Dream hunch

[TH] Now I gotta do the thing.

[LD] Please keep the safety on!

[TH] I’m not a toddler Yukako I know guns work.

[TH] See? On the desk pointed away with the safety on.

[LD] Thank fuck.

[TH] Hey you swore! Were rubbing off on you.

[LD] Oh fuck off.

[LD] Almost gave me a heart attack.

[TH] >:x)

* * *

[TH] Alright alright lets set up some shit!

[HD] ✒ I immediately regret agreeing to play this.

[HD] ✒ Am I allowed to change server players?

[TH] Nope! Youre stuck with me!

[TH] >:x)

[HD] ✒ Do me a favor then and throw me down the stairs.

[TH] Cant. Wont let me pick up your chair with you in it. 

[TH] I could probably crush you with your desk though.

[HD] ✒ Don’t touch my desk.

Okuyasu gazed upon the posh plushness of the Kishibe house with all the face akin to a cat yerning to knock a cup from a table. He wasn’t going to try and mess anything up though, not on purpose anyway. It was brimming with clutter of class and elegance. God, he even had one of those bowls full of fruit, the bastard. Walls were littered with rare collectors pieces in front of frankly ugly wallpaper. His hallway looked like if a victorian widow was also really into sailor moon; Okuyasu feared that he could find one of those dumb fluffy sleeved widow dresses around if he looked hard enough. Rohan would say it’s for reference, but hey, those things look comfy as hell despite how much sleeve rolling you would have to do just to pick shit up.

[TH] Dude I have to move SOMETHING to get these things in here.

[HD] ✒ Well you can move anything but the desk!

[HD] ✒ This thing is worth more than you are.

[TH] You either got a shit deal on a desk or don’t know how much organs go for.

[HD] ✒….Humor me.

[TH] My eyeballs? 1500ish US Dollars.

[TH] Small intestine? That’s like 2000 dollars.

[TH] Hell you can just sell bone marrow and that shitll go for like 23000 USD a gram.

[TH] So how much was that desk?

[HD] ✒ 1,254,425 Yen.

[TH] My bones are worth more than your desk.

[HD] ✒ Wait, why do you even know this?

[TH] I get bored.

[HD] ✒ So you….look up organ prices?

[TH] Ive always been waiting for the Worth More Than You quip.

[TH] So I looked this junk up and wrote it down for just this moment.

[TH] Youve officially made a dream come true Rohan.

[HD] ✒ Fine. I’ll sell your bones to buy an even better desk, smart ass.

[TH] Talking a lot of shit for someone in looney tunes range.

Okuyasu decided that Rohan’s weird parlor thing would be the best target for his impromptu remodeling, catching a glimpse of Rohan frantically writing things down before he got up to watch the shitshow of furniture tetris. No one needs 3 loveseats and a sofa, let alone a reclusive manga artist! Just buy a second couch and you get more cushions! After stacking them up into a shitty interior design card castle, Okuyasu started frantically finagling with a coffee table before he got frustrated. So, with a scrape and lots of tumbling before its certain splintered demise, the coffee table was banished to the roof and then subsequently his patio through a window.

[HD] ✒ YOU SON OF A

[TH] You said everything but the desk.

[TH] And I didnt expect the window to actually break. 

[TH] Just for the table to just teleport or something.

[HD] ✒ For being such an idiot, you sure are being a smart ass with me all of a sudden.

[HD] ✒ Is this for bringing up possible trauma?

[TH] I just got Yukako to quit the psychoanalysis bullshit dont you start too.

[TH] Im workin on hunches here okay and I feel that we gotta get this shit ready.

Okuyasu decided to test out the physics with a throw pillow. Finally: an optimal use for these stupid uncomfortable false pillows. A perfect game ui shuriken to peg into Rohan’s head before moving on to place all the machines he can and chucking the card at him.

[HD] ✒ YOU COULD HAVE POKED MY EYE OUT WITH THAT CARD YOU KNOW!

[TH] Want me to try again? Kyehehehe.

honoredDeliverance [HD] has blocked testyHoosgow [TH]

Okuyasu smiles as Rohan moves to his pc again, now deciding to quietly pile as many pillows he can find close to his station at the computer...And one of the legs of the coffee table. Just to give the pile a bit of variety. He didn’t need any dreams to tell him that he’d get a lot of use out of those pillows.

[CD] jotaro, did rohan get to you yet?

[CD] he blocked okuyasu before he said he was doing anything.

[SP] All the machines are ready here, yes. >゜))))彡

[SP] I already made room for them this morning. >゜))))彡

[CD] are you gonna need me to move anything or??

[SP] No, I can move things fine. >゜))))彡

[SP] Once I place everything down, I’m going to have Rohan remove the lid of the cruxtunder. >゜))))彡

[SP] That will give us all five minutes to finish. >゜))))彡

[CD] so i just gotta tell everybody to hussle up???

[SP] Since Okuyasu got blocked by Rohan, Koichi will have to tell him or I will. >゜))))彡

[SP] No one wants the timer to hit zero before they are done. >゜))))彡

[CD] what happens if they don't make it?

[SP] Instant game over. >゜))))彡

[CD] so pretty bad huh?

[CD] okay so when do we start this thing?

[SP] Go to your living room. I’ll put the machines down and then I can send the go to to everyone. >゜))))彡

[SP] The timer is different for everybody, so getting everyone in as fast as possible should be the priority. >゜))))彡

[CD] alright.

[SP] Remember that at least one thing has to be put into the kernelsprite. >゜))))彡

[CD] i'm assuming that's the circle thing you were talking about before?

[SP] Yes it is. I'm going to start soon so gather whatever you want prototyped nearby. >゜))))彡

seastarPatriarch[SP] ceased pestering crystallizedDelinquent[CD]

Josuke descended his staircase expecting some kind of chaos based on how finicky the game seemed to be when it came to moving things. As he turned out of the hallway, he simply found all the furniture pushed to the far walls with the machines placed neatly together: the punched card resting on top of the unmoved coffee table. He plucked it up and looked around for something to use for this sprite thing...He probably has some old junk he can throw out into it…

* * *

woundsBeyond [WB] began trolling seastarPatriarc [SP]

[WB] I looked at Skaia for the first time in a while, Jotaro.

[WB] It let me see them.

[WB] Well, some of them, anyway.

[WB] I can see why you have so much faith in them.

[SP] They’re good kids.  >゜))))彡

[SP] I’m certain they can do it. >゜))))彡   


[SP] I have to be. >゜))))彡

[WB] I want to help them too you know.

[WB] They remind me of my own friends.

[SP] Well, how about just answering any questions they have? >゜))))彡   


[SP] I mean, you gave me the game, after all. >゜))))彡   


[WB] Hehe. Well, I’m sure I can try and be helpful. Beats sitting on my hands waiting with the rest of them on LoSaS.

[SP] Why there? Isn’t he...you know. >゜))))彡

[WB] You handle your friends and I’ll handle mine, Jotaro.

[WB] His business is His, even if we don’t understand it.

[WB] And one of Him is right here you know. 

[WB] It’s rude to talk about someone behind their backs. B^(

[SP] Yare Yare... >゜))))彡   


[WB] Well, I shouldn’t distract you or the kids.

[WB] I’ve talked to Koichi just some time ago, but I feel like I put him off.

[WB] Let me know when to say hello proper, okay? 

woundsBeyond [WB] ceased trolling seastarPatriarc [SP]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry these take a bit.   
I work during the week for 10 hours.  
I hope you guys like this! Comments really help me be motivated to keep going!


	3. Act 2-2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gang: Enter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I broke this from Act 2 because I knew the entries would make act 2 much longer.

Six timers begin to tick with each opened the Pandora’s Box of a machine...

** _5,10,6,4,11,12._ **

* * *

Josuke looked at the ticking timer and shining dark purple sphere with half shut eyes. Damn, why is it flashing!? That shit hurts! He feels around, but it feels like that flashing ball of bullshit keeps following him. He manages to bump the fireplace, cascading an urn in an every familiar fashion, though unfamiliar to him. Coughing up part of his grandfather was not something he was planning to do with his friday night, but neither was messing with just about anything he did today. The kernelsprite was….kinda off-putting now. It was just a floating likeness of his grandfather...Unblinking...floating there….

He already hated this game.

He pulled the dark pillar of cruxite from the cruxtruder, moving it to the lathe with the punch card. He hoped it doesn’t take long: he seriously needs to put something else in this fucking thing. After a few seconds of totem lathing, he had the totem now much wigglier than last time.   
5 minutes would have to be enough to find SOMETHING to make looking at this weird floating grandpa head less weird. He put the wiggly totem in the alchemizer before scampering to get another item to add, loud bangs and crashes echoing from outside with streaks of red across the sky from his windows…

JOSUKE: fuck it. 

He pulled the Star Fox cartridge from his N64 and chucked it into the flashing face, giving it...a beard? Wait, oh god damn it, it used Andross for this fucking thing!? He was running out of time in his failed quest to improve his sprite: time he could not spend whining about his now slightly more simian ghost grandpa head. He put the carved totem into the alchemiter, the machine working quickly to weave...a comb? The hell was a comb gonna do when there are fucking meteors and shit flying around now!?

[CD] uh jotaro, i got the thing. What do i do with it?

[SP] Whatever comes to mind. Everyone will have a different artifact so I can’t tell you how to use it. >゜))))彡

[CD] okay, cool, one question though.

[CD] why the fuck are there meteors!?!?!?!

[SP] Gotta go. >゜))))彡

[CD] god damn it

He picks the comb up off of the pad of the machine, looking out into the darkening sky from the window as he brings it to his hair...

* * *

Koichi was almost utterly blinded by the bright magenta sphere, squinting and shielding his face. He could see it move to another side of the room...To Police? Okay, a epilepsy disco circle came out of the weird machine and now is just...transfixed on his dog? Koichi puts the card in the lathe and tries to figure out how to get stuff from the machine itself before a buzzing caught his attention: a buzzing that was making a b-line to the flashing circle. One more flash and the circle was replaced with the horrible visage of a fly’s face.

KOICHI: GYA FUCK!

He had 10 minutes, he could figure something out! Jotaro said that they can but two things in there, right? He sets up the totem late and a timer on his watch and starts to rumage. Of course a fly had to run into the damn thing: like a ominously floating stupid bug zapper! As he chucked things around in his panic, he threw a shoe back and it knocked into a shelf, sending another item down onto the flashing circle: a radio.

[KOICHI]: Okay, this should-

[KOICHI]: OH COME THE F U C K ON!

The fly’s eyes now were replaced with speakers that further amplified the buzz of the insect. It was annoying as all hell but Koichi had to admit his defeat at the hands of this one shitty shelf. He had eight minutes left but he didn’t really have any reason to wait anymore now, so, with a long drawn out groan, he dragged his feet to reach the cruxtruder, the lathe and the alchemiter. He finally managed to free the totem from the machine, before moving to the lathe. After a moment of carving, the lathe was finished and Koichi put it in the appropriately shaped stop on the alchemiter. After a few more brisk seconds came….Wait, is that an orange? It was the same hue as the totem, but still very much an orange. Was he supposed to eat it? Seems like a weird thing to start a game with, but he’d roll with it. He looked out the window as he dug into the peculiar fruit, dots of red burning bright on the distant horizon…

* * *

Yukako stepped out the front door with a deer skull held by the antlers. It was a silly thing to use, but what use could she have for it anyway? It was one of those rich people impulse buys from her mother as she tried to relate to her. Yukako really appreciated the effort, but where would she even put a deer skull? Apparently in the front room to the worry of any guests that came for mothers parties; not like Yukako cared for those anyway. She walked toward her garage as she saw dots of red streak through the sky. There wasn’t supposed to be a meteor shower today, was there?….Oh well.

She picked the prepunched card from the garage floor and put it in the lathe before turning to the sprite, squinting up at it with some disdain. Such a dull and dreary color for such a bright and obnoxious thing. 

YUKAKO: Stop blinking, damn it, I got you something.

It didn’t stop, though she was pretty sure it wouldn’t be able too no matter how much she yelled at it. She chucked it the deer skull into it before turning the machine’s wheel and generating a column of equally dull blue.

She plucked it from the machine and looked out the hole that was once her garage door; the meteors are coming a lot faster, aren’t they?

[LD]: Jotaro, you’re a man of science

[LD]: Was there supposed to be a meteor shower? I don’t remember it being on the news.

[SP]: We are, it’s just not reported, I guess. >゜))))彡

[LD]: They ought to report on this seeing how I’m looking out from my garage and just saw a building get absolutely demolished in the distance.

[SP]: What’s on your timer? >゜))))彡

[LD]: 3 minutes but I don’t see what that has to

[LD]: Wait….

[LD]: Jotaro, is this a part of this stupid game?

[SP]: I can explain everything when we all enter, please, Yukako. >゜))))彡

[LD]: I expect a good fucking explanation for all this nonsense

[LD]: And if not I at least want an excuse.

[SP] Okay. Tell me when to start talking when we get in. For now, just focus. >゜))))彡

[LD]: I will.

She took the column and placed it in the lathe, letting the machine work for a few moments. She brought the now carved totem to the alchemiter, sitting idle as that too finished it’s work...creating a ball of fucking yarn.

YUKAKO: ….You want me to knit? Fine. Fucking fine. We can play this, you stupid game…

She snatched the ball from the pad and pulled out her needles.

YUKAKO: You’re getting a scarf and that’s fucking it. You don’t get a sweater.

* * *

Four minutes? Are you kidding!?

Okuyasu stood in a minor panic in the former bedroom, scrambling into his and his brother’s joint room to find something to toss into this stupid green circle. He dove under the bed to a shoe box of random nick nacks. He couldn’t miss any of these, right? He blindly rummaged, feeling shitty plastic figurines abound before grabbing the one that felt the smoothest. It was a weird metric to judge what to toss, but it would work. It was a little Kappa from when the family used to travel around. It was just a cheapo thing but it was kinda cute now that he’s looking at it ag-WAIT, NO TIME TO REMINISCE! FOUR MINUTES!

He crawled out to….Wait fuck, where’d it go!? And he forgot to set up the lathe!

He ran from one room to another, frantically putting the card into the lathe and turning the knob of the cruxtruder and practically jamming the pillar into it.

OKUYASU Where are you you flashing fuck?

He dipped from the bedroom to the kitchen, crappy kappa in hand, and managed to catch it lingering around the kitchen. Any misstep and Keicho would hear him, and he’d rather not deal with being yelled at when he has a four minute timer to what he feels like is a very bad thing.

OKUYASU Mom if youre up there don’t let me fucking miss.

He took up the best pitching stance he could remember before throwing the small toy as hard as he could into the flashing disc and turning around to go back to the machines. He yanked the carved totem from the lathe and practically dunked it into its slot of the alchimiter. After a few seconds of whirring, a bottle of the same green of his sprite say without ceremony on the pad. When he picked it up, it swished with a small amount of liquid at its bottom.

OKUYASU Oh fuck oh fuck uh… FUCK IT!

He screwed the top off of the artifact and slammed it back, finding it tasted like sparkling water but in the worst way possible. Just angry fizzy game-generated water. He put the bottle back down on the pad, hoping he did the right thing, when he started to feel drowsy…

OKUYASU Oh son of a bitch.

* * *

His eyes were met with a familiar shade of pink when he managed to knock the lid off of the cruxtruder as he was told. It was just the shade he used for some of his colorations of Pink Dark Boy, though with it flashing like this it may be a lighter shade. Jotaro did say to put something in it too, right? He and his kernalsprite migrate to the study once again, Rohan skimming what volumes he could discard...but then he wouldn’t have the whole set...But he couldn’t throw his manuscripts in either, could he? Nono, he would have to submit them when they were finished with this. Surely he can just draw something up for this thing, he has eleven minutes and he’s done volumes in less. Though perhaps he could get the rest of this out of the way. He takes the card from his desk and walks out to the foyer, seeing just how razed it had been by that...lawless Nijimura. How could he be so pleasant with everyone else but run rampant through his home without even setting foot inside. Like a rampant teething golden retriever puppy, that boy, but with the force of a furniture sized t-shirt cannon. He doesn’t even live in Morioh and yet Josuke has implanted this seed of distrust. As he puts a column of the light pink cruxite into the lathe, he does a quick sketch on a sketchpad and pulls it out from the book.

ROHAN: Will this do?

It accepted the paper with a brighter flash: the circle changing to the head of Fuchsia, the lead of Pink Dark Boy. While having just the head was less than ideal, he can’t do much about it. The lathe was finished faster than he expected, looking to see that only two of his eleven minutes were up, likely expended by his leisurely walking between rooms. He moves the carved totem to the alchimiter before moving one of the poorly stacked pieces of furniture to sit down, a chess piece falling from some of the cushioning. He knew he had a chess set somewhere, but its nice to know that if he finds it again, it’ll have it’s black queen again. He looks to see that the alchemiter has produced a canvas, earning a smirk from the manga artist. He looks down to the chess piece in his hand…. The Black Queen…Thin lips drawn into an unnerving yet kind smile on the canvas, looked upon from low, as sharp blank eyes look down upon him. She shines against the light with the pitchest of gowns as her own tar-black body glimmers...that is what he leaves upon the canvas as the world cascades into oblivion…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sprite Colors:  
Grandprossprite - #42002B - Dark Scarlet  
Buzzboxsprite - #C43CA2 - Byzantine Magenta  
Cervidaesprite - #1E5066 - Slate Gray-Blue  
Kappasprite - #455126 - Army Green  
Fuschiasprite - #FFA0D1 - Pale Magenta Pink
> 
> I will admit that this chapter was the most of a drag to write from just how little happens besides the prototyping but know that all the other chapters will probably be better!  
I also have decided that most of my chapter work will be during the week when I get home from work since I do a lot of brain storming on the clock.


	4. Act 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alt Title: The gang gets varying degrees of exposition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ADDED NOTE:   
NEXT CHAPTER WILL TAKE LONGER!   
I'VE BEEN ABLE TO DRAW AFTER WORK AND HAVE BEEN DOING OKUYASUWEEK ON TWITTER!  
SORRY!

OKUYASU: Of course it fucking put me to sleep. God damn it.

He sat up in the familiar bed, unburdened by the upper bunk of his real room. He slips out of the bed and leans on the sill of the window, looking down at the golden streets. He didn’t have any plans down there, though something will probably come to him when he gets down there. He slips out the window like it was second nature: it was his dream, after all, of course he could fly. He let himself slowly descend to the streets below, the citizens stopping to wave now and then…

Hey, they look different, don’t they? Their clothes seemed slicker: more uniform...Kinda spacey. He didn’t know his dreams had fashion trends but now he really wishes he wasn’t stuck with these poofy yellow pjs: he probably looks like an idiot. He walks down the streets past the day to day hubbub; yes he could just fly over it all but that just felt mean. ** _ Hey everyone! Look at me and my big stupid puffy shoulders and my flying prowess! I am a massive tool!_ ** No, he wasn’t like that, even when he was sleeping. Everyone else was pretty small compared to him anyway so it was easy enough to navigate around them. The palace could be fun, he thinks, he hasn’t visited Queenie in a while and she seemed busy last he saw her. He walks until he gets close to one of the castle walls, quickly flying to land atop it and enter that way. Some guards saw him, but they only waved and smiled as he walked the halls to near the throne room.

OKUYASU: Hey Your Highness! I know Im kinda early but I got- Woah.

She sat on her throne with the same happy eyes he had known her for, but with antlers rising from behind her crown and golden marks webbing down from her eyes. Insectoid wings idly twitched behind her as clawed fingers drummed against the arms of her throne, triangular gems embedded in her palms. Her gown was sharper and more imposing too: same spacey feeling as the pawns in the street but now with a large sharp emblem of Prospit on her chest.

OKUYASU: New look? Looks good on you. Though gettin the crown on with those has to be a pain hu- oh wow those are really on there huh?

She didn’t have a mouth, not one he could see anyway,but if she did he could tell she would be smiling. She stood up, placing a hand on his shoulder, and walked. They walked out of the castle and down the streets for a while, and the air of the whole affair was...much more stuffy than he was used to with her.

OKUYASU: Is something wrong? You seem kinda upset?

She looks down to him with those same smiling eyes before pointing to large golden ships leaving toward Skaia.

OKUYASU: Battleships? Did something-

She kept pointing, Okuyasu looking at the passing clouds…

A hulking king of black flying over a battlefield of checkers, a city of purple with…

OKUYASU: Is….Is that Rohan? Where is that?

The Queen points the other direction into the endless black, the view being broken by the spin of six planets….

OKUYASU: Were...were those there before?

She shakes her head and holds out her hand, showing her ring and its six spheres. She taps the band a few times before tapping the lines on her face.

OKUYASU: Uh….Im not 100% sure what youre getting at…

She did a sort of sigh before she ruffled his hair, just like she always would. They kept walking, though the air eased in its tension. His eyes kept trailing to the planets, even as they neared another tower...one of the towers he never entered. She looked down to him and nodded towards it.

OKUYASU: Oh? Uh alright I can go up there.

He drifted up, slowly catching a look inside from the window to a room of royal purple. As he rose, he saw a hint of a pompadour poking from the blanket…

* * *

KEICHO: D→ Okuyasu, wake up! You fucked up big time!

OKUYASU: Keicho….

Okuyasu sat up, Keicho backing off from his crouch beside him, his gun reclaimed and at his hip with a patch of blood on his opposite side. There was a lot of noise from the other rooms, though the room he slept in seemed to be calm enough. He’s glad he shut the door before he drank that shit...Wait, did he do that or did Keicho-

KEICHO: D→ You’ve got ten seconds to explain what the fuck I’ve woken up to, damn it.

OKUYASU: Well I was asleep too so uh-

KEICHO: D→ Get your fucking weapon ready cause we’re getting the hell out of here.

His weap-Oh yeah, the strife deck. He forgot he had that thing. What did he even have in it?

He checked his decks: an empty array modius and a single chain for his strife. It clattered to the ground as he equipped it, Keicho rolling his eyes. He never liked WhipKind: called it impractical up there with SytheKind and UmbrellaKind.

KEICHO: D→ You better not hit me with that damn thing.

OKUYASU: I wont….at least on purpose.

KEICHO: D→ Fine, okay, but we need to move. On 3.

1...2...3.

The brothers kicked down the door, finding five...things staring back at them with wide, unblinking eyes and mishmashes of parts that didn’t quite look natural on their small frames. Keicho took a few shots with obvious anger and disdain, downing three and staggering two, who quickly were whacked across their faces as more scrambled from other rooms, much more ape like than the others. With hands raised, they seemed to summon slabs of their own colors, sending them hurtling toward the brothers; not slow enough to be laughable but not fast enough to be unfair. Steel met polygons, but a few managed to slip past between reloads and swings, either wholly or as shrapnel, catching Keicho in the leg and side and causing him to wince as more and more of his shots started to miss as larger pieces came much too close for comfort. Okuyasu was scraped by a few, but the wide arches of his swings provided much better coverage against the projectiles as he moved in due to their size.

OKUYASU: Where is that flashy green fuck when you need him? Damn it!

He got close enough to slap a few of the imps, catching another by the neck and managing to swing it into another imp in a shower of...What the fuck is this stuff, anyway? Well he could pick it up, so he’ll probably need it later.

OKUYASU: Bro how you doin back there? Out of bullets?

KEICHO: D→ No, just give me a minute…Stupid fucking-

He looks back to see Keicho frantically grabbing towels to shove against his cuts and gashes as he tried to hold off the remaining imps projectiles. Okuyasu was keeping a good number of them away, but also only able to take one or two of the sources out between waves of fire. 

OKUYASU: Okay I’m gettin in the rhythm now here…

Keicho takes a few more shots, but soon all he gets are clicks. He fumbles with the clip, stopping as a glowing green tail slides into his view.

KAPPASPRITE: Sheshesheshe

KEICHO: D→ Oh great... What the fuck are you?

KAPPASPRITE: >:>

KEICHO: D→ Well you’re not trying to kill us so that’s at least something. Are you gonna help or just sit there giggling like an asshole?

KAPPASPRITE: >>:>

It produced ...a cucumber? A glowing green cucumber? Where the fuck did it get that?

KEICHO: How the fuck is that supposed to help me?!

KAPPASPRITE: >:>

He reached up for it anyway, only for it to be pulled away by the equally impish green spirit.

KAPPASPRITE: Sheheheehe! >:>

KEICHO: D→ I don’t have time for this, damn it.

He reached for it once more, holding the towels to his wounds with his empty pistol.

KEICHO: D→ Stop moving if you’re trying to give it to me, you fucking-

With a last lunging jump for it, the sprite moved downward under him, the tail swiping his legs out from under him and causing his fall…Directly into the sprite.   
A light flashes out, the last few of the casting imps scampering out the window.

KEIPASPRITE: …

OKUYASU: ...

OKUYASU: Dx:

KEIPASPRITE: D→ WHAT THE FUCK!?

OKUYASU: UUUUUH

[TH] Heya Jotaro

[TH] Quick question

[TH] What would happen if

[TH] Hypothetically

[TH] A person ended up in the sprite thing???

[SP] Same as whatever you put in it before you entered. >゜))))彡

[SP] You didn’t fall in, did you?  >゜))))彡

[TH] Me? No. Psh. I may be dumb but Im not a clutz!

[TH] …..It did kinda trick my brother into falling into it….

[TH] And were kinda freaking the fuck out here.

[SP] Well this is awkward….>゜))))彡

[SP] There’s no way to UNprototype a sprite, so I suppose your brother will get to be your guide now just as the sprite would be regardless. >゜))))彡

[TH] Uh thanks I gotta uh handle this now…

OKUYASU: Uh…..I guess youre kinda….stuck.

KEIPASPRITE: D→ Of course! Of fucking course I have to get stuck as some sort of fucking ghost.

KEIPASPRITE:  D→ Just fucking perfect. Just my god damn luck!

OKUYASU: Well at least the imps are gone...but where the hell did they come from.

KEIPASPRITE: D→ Ugh it’s all part of this fucking game, huh? God, I’m getting too much info right now give me a second….

OKUYASU: Alright I’m just gonna check shit out.

Okuyasu opened the door to the apartment and stopped in awe…   
No hallway….No neighbors...

Just an expanse of sanguine dirt and blue flame: silence broken only by the distant sound of frogs.

OKUYASU: Uh Keicho….

OKUYASU: Since youre like game data and shit now...where the fuck are we?

KEIPASPRITE: D→ The Land of Frogs and Flame…

KEIPASPRITE:  D→ ...Earth….it’s just...gone.

OKUYASU: …..

OKUYASU:I’ll be right back...

He walks forward, chain in hand: a light jingle from the shake in his fists...

* * *

Yukako peered out from behind her electric chair, catching a glimpse of a fog rolling in from the hole that was once a door.   
A meteor just hit….her fucking house….

A meteor that Jotaro K N E W about…..

YUKAKO: I’m gonna kill him. I don’t care who he is, I’m gonna kill him.

CERVIDAESPRITE: Skull? You take skull?

YUKAKO: Maybe

YUKAKO: Wait you couldn’t talk a second ago, what the hell?

CERVIDAESPRITE: New to me too. Worse off without tissue or flesh.

YUKAKO: Yeah I can imagine that would make speaking hard.

YUKAKO: But also where the fuck is this?

CERVIDAESPRITE: Land of Steam and Shade. Your planet.

YUKAKO: ….My planet?

She steps out to the grass of her lawn, the edges cutting to cold blue stone as giant mushrooms broke up the steamy horizon, geysers shooting off with hisses as she looked out.

YUKAKO: And everyone else?

CERVIDAESPRITE: They are home. As they were. Safe. Alive.

CERVIDAESPRITE: You must help the boy. The scarred one. Build up to gate. Ascend to Descend.

CERVIDAESPRITE: Grow strong together. Gather from fallen to build.

YUKAKO: Okay so we just have to, what? Kill stuff so we can build each other’s houses up so we can fight more?

YUKAKO: What else?

CERVIDAESPRITE: Each have own quest. Quest I do not know. Or simply cannot tell.

CERVIDAESPRITE: Some paths harder. Some easier. Some much to complex to speak of.

CERVIDAESPRITE: First one must acquire the Punch Designix in each home. Create. Forge weapons and arms against the darkness.

YUKAKO: Hm…..Punch Designix….Sounds like it’ll let us make those cards like the one that I put into the totem lathe…

CERVIDAESPRITE: Yes. Create leads to Destroy and Destroy to Create. A cycle until the ultimate creation can be forged.

CERVIDAESPRITE: But that is not your purpose.

YUKAKO: Okay so I just gotta kill enough stuff to get this designix thing then I can get better weapons.

YUKAKO: So much for that study date with Koichi…

CERVIDAESPRITE: You can reach him. Soon or not. Your second gate above. Your way to him.

YUKAKO: Oh well that’s good. Okay, time to start fighting.

She walks forward with her needles in hand, looking out to see imps approach in a group, projectiles that plagued her fellow player drifting across the winds and being blown to a useless angle by the steam. She stabbed with precision and grace, entangling others in a net sewn from the threads of the garb of their fallen. She pulled the net tighter and tighter against them, feeling each pop and squish against her tugs…And she couldn’t help but smile.

She heard it in songs and saw it in movies and games, but never expected to do it herself, and especially not like this. She knows with humans it would be a whole other can of worms, but something about it being her own hands ending them, not some figure on a screen, filled her with a satisfaction she wasn’t sure she ever felt before...and a satisfaction that frankly was kind of unnerving… It was like...back then. Like when she kidnapped Koichi, but so much more. As the imps faded into bright collectables, she held the yarn in her hands…   
She couldn’t get in trouble for this.   
This wasn’t wrong.   
She could be as aggressive and rough as she wanted, really.    
It was with a purpose…   
She could be ...constructive…   
She could...

No, she had to keep a level head, even without prying eyes.   
Deep breaths, Yukako. Think of the therapist.

Anger is normal, but this is not anger. Pull yourself down. Ground yourself. You are not your thoughts. Occupy the hands and the mind will follow. Focus on what is here and now.   
She balls up the yarn and walks.   
Surely if they need to make things, they need a lot of these collectibles.   
She’s just gathering.   
Gathering, yeah.

A simple job and nothing more.

She sighs.

Maybe these imps were a delusion; this whole planet too. Giant mushrooms?    
Would that make her Alice then? Chasing her little white rabbit….   
Hm….   
As she walks, she knits, trying to ignore the sludge of imp bile on the yarn.   
Perhaps Koichi would like this sweater.   
She smiles, thinking of every little stitch she can make…

woundsBeyond [WB] began trolling lovestruckDesire [LD]

[WB] I do hope I’m not interrupting anything.

[LD] ???

[WB] I’m a friend of Jotaro’s.

[WB] I wanted to make proper introductions now that you are less, well

[WB] Pressed for time. B)

[LD] Oh. You’re that troll Koichi told me about.

[LD] Of course Jotaro would be friends with you then.

[WB] Pardon?

[LD] He tricked us into playing this and now you’ve come to gloat.

[LD] I’m not stupid.

[WB] Oh. Oh my.

[WB] He didn’t tell you, did he?

[LD] Obviously.

[LD] And what, pray tell, was he supposed to tell me then? Hm?

[LD] Oh yes, gaggle of minors, lets play a game that slingshots meteors into your houses. Yes that sounds like an absolute whale of a time, no? Come now let us frolic in the ruins of man’s hubris and wander in fields of mania! Glub Glub!

[WB] I am sorry that he didn’t tell you anything about this…

[LD] And another thing, Mr. Troll

[LD] Weren’t you the one who gave him the fucking thing?

[LD] Maybe a fucking instructions manual would have been helpful instead of playing telephone with an emotionally constipated man that has nothing better to do and a menagerie of teenagers?

[WB] …..Well that was a tad harsh ...Reasonable, but harsh. B(

[LD] Do relay that to him then along with this.

[LD] As soon as I get to him, wherever he may be on this steaming shit of a planet or otherwise

[LD] I won’t fucking hesitate.

[WB] …..To do what, exactly?

[LD] I’ll decide when I get there.

[LD] So now, if you would be so kind, fuck off.

woundsBeyond [WB] ceased trolling lovestruckDesire [LD]

* * *

It was gone: all of it.

Rohan stepped out of his home into a world of nonsensical geography, his nose assailed with the most intense odor of ink. Islands floated with only their waterfalls to hold them up. Hands broke free from technicolor soil, pale and clawing up at the grey sky above…   
And he smiled.

Not a smile of joy, per say, but perhaps denial? He laughs as he grabs his pen and his manuscript, throwing the later into the black rivers before him. He turns to a lone imp, their gusto quick to vanish as pen nibs pierce their eyes. They reel and screech, pulling the nibs free as the artist approaches with his eyes blazing with curiosity.

He always prided himself on his ability to take from reality… From the anatomy of a spider to the feeling of a car crash: he's seen it all, heard it all, and wrote it all.

His sprite floats behind him as he crouches down to the imp’s level, holding out for a fresh paper, as per his request…

He drew the creature down to every agonized detail: the antlers, the wings, the claws...but what of the inside? 

honoredDeliverance [HD] began pestering testyHoosegow [TH]

[HD] ✒ Is now the time to follow through on your dream question?

[TH] No not really but if you wanna keep going just do it.

[TH] I’ve got a lot of shit to deal with right now.

[HD]  ✒ I don’t doubt that.

[HD] ✒ I just want some details is all.

[HD] ✒ You mentioned you dream of the same place every time, correct?

[TH] Yep.

[HD] ✒ Care to describe it to me?

[TH] Really? Okay…

[TH] Its like real fucking fancy like some RPG capital city level shit. Big castle with walls and people the whole works.

[TH] Not like people people though.

[TH] I think theyre like crabs??? IDK but theyre not like humans or nothin.

[TH] And the room I always start the dream in is the same and there is always this big cloudy thing above the city.

[TH] Everything looks like its made of gold and shit.

[TH] And uh I know I probably mentioned this but you know those gut feelings and vibes I get sometimes?

[TH] I remember seeing bits of it in those dreams when I look up at that cloudy planet thing above me.

[TH] Hell I saw you up there actually when I got roofied by the game (dont ask) and Josuke was in the same city thing but he was asleep.

[HD] ✒ Wait, you saw me in those clouds?

[TH] Yeah which is weird cause if I remember right I mostly would just get vague stuff like

[TH] A lot of fuckin frog visions.

[TH] Jotaro is there a lot too, which is real weird.

[HD] ✒ Well in….the clouds. What was I doing?

[TH] You were in another city like the one I was in.

[HD] ✒ But you could tell it wasn’t the same one?

[TH] Yeah it was a different color.

[HD] ✒ ….That wouldn’t happen to be purple, would it?

[TH] Yeah! Howd you know?

[HD] god damn it fuck

[TH] Woah you dropped the emoji you good?

Rohan clutched at his clothes trying to manage the mental floodgates.

He had those dreams when he was young, he can feel it, but then he got therapy. But why did he have the therapy at all? He remembered he went when he was young, yes, but no details beyond the doors. He tries to rack his brain for it,but it all feels like static. Work backwards, Rohan; build from the truth like you always have...Not before, in a most  _ unsightly  _ rage, he brings a chair into the face of the imp he dragged into his home.

[TH] You still there dude?

[TH] I’m kinda concerned now.

[HD] ✒ I’m fine just

[HD] ✒ When did you start having your dreams?

[HD] ✒ It’s vital.

[TH] Uh….When I was six? Yeah! Yeah I was six!

[HD] ✒ What happened before you had the dreams?

[TH] Uh….its kinda personal...

[HD] ✒ Okuyasu please.

[HD] ✒ I KNOW I had dreams of that purple city, but I think therapy stopped them.

[HD] ✒ This isn’t just for manga: that doesn’t fucking matter anymore.

[HD] ✒ I just want you to help me then you can just ignore me or hate me or whatever you planned to do before.

[TH] Woah woah woah hold up pause. Did you think I like hated you hated you???

[TH] Did you think I was being serious???

[HD] ✒ ….You weren’t?

[TH] NO! I was running with a goof and I thought that was just our dynamic!

[TH] You’d say something kinda douchey and Id have a snappy comeback and it would be all fun!

[TH] And I put a lot of fucking effort into those comebacks! I googled fucking bone prices!

[HD] ✒ I guess this whole thing has been stupid then…

[TH] Sure some of the junk you did got me actually mad but thats just how mutual trolling works right? A week later and were back to our bit.

[HD] ✒ ...Though you DID wreck my house.

[TH] Okay but I couldn’t find room for shit in your house and I broke ONE coffee table that you probably never even used.

[HD] ✒ We’re getting off the subject here!

[TH] Oh yeah right right right.

[TH] ….

[TH] I’ll tell you what happened before the dreams started cause this seems like your having a crisis.

[TH] But if you tell anybody ESPECIALLY YUKAKO I will throw your desk at you.

[HD] ✒ Thank you, Okuyasu.

* * *

Josuke stood with a frying pan in hand with his grandfather just floating there over the grist of a small imp battalion…The grandfather that died of a brain tumor a year ago...Was a ghost in his house….and also some kinda ape man….And just helped him fight actual videogame monsters with final boss projectiles ...with some other monsters floating face down in an endless swamp...

Seriously,  _ fuck  _ this game.

He looked out to the horizon of trees, water, and peppered ground…   


JOSUKE: uhhh…..

GRANDPROSSPRITE: I don’t suppose Tomoko bought any kind of boat since I was home last…

JOSUKE: Nope….

GRANDPROSSPRITE: …

GRANDPROSSPRITE: Did she clear out my room?

JOSUKE: I don’t think so?

GRANDPROSSPRITE: Okay. Hold on tight, kiddo.

Josuke waited on the lawn-coast...Is it a coast for swamps? He never had to deal with a swamp before so he’s just gonna go with swamp-coast. He looks toward his home, seeing Jotaro making….stairs? They reached up to a bright purple ring above his house: something he assumes he’s gonna have to deal with later. But right now, he has ghost grandpas to deal with...Bond with? He doesn’t wanna think too hard on this weird Bill Cosby Ghost Dad situation.

From a window comes his grandfather, holding out his old bed with some sort of spectral tractor-beam.

GRANDPROSSPRITE: A boat. :)

JOSUKE: aw shit thats kewl as hell!

GRANDPROSSPRITE: Well I try. Come on, hop on so we can get truckin.

GRANDPROSSPRITE: You can always just make a boat with that alchemy thing once that Jotaro makes the punch machine.

GRANDPROSSPRITE: Borrow one from a friend, maybe. I’m sure at least one of them at least has a kayak or something.

Josuke sat down on the bed, still lined with old people smell, as it was lowered slightly into the water. They slowly moved along, Josuke only having to bonk the occasional imp still alive and trying to commandeer their bedboat. The trees swayed in a light breeze with the smell of leaves and rotting fruit: the only sounds being the movement of the water below and the rustle of the windswept trees.

JOSUKE: soooo….

JOSUKE: what’s it like? 

JOSUKE: you know…..being dead?

JOSUKE: you don’t gotta answer if you don’t want to i was just thinking.

GRANDPROSSPRITE: Well. Hm….It’s a lot like they said: like sleeping.

GRANDPROSSPRITE: Sometimes you just don’t notice it, sometimes you’re naked in your old highschool.

JOSUKE: EW!

GRANDPROSSPRITE: Aw, you know I’m joking!

JOSUKE: well uh…are you mad?

JOSUKE: that i roped you into this i mean.

GRANDPROSSPRITE: Are you kidding me?

GRANDPROSSPRITE: Josuke, do you know why I became a police officer?

JOSUKE: uh….for the town, right? but-

GRANDPROSSPRITE: Not just for Morioh: to protect everything I cared about.

GRANDPROSSPRITE: You think I stopped caring just because I died? That’s….BANANAS. :D

JOSUKE: oh god no

JOSUKE: no ape puns

JOSUKE: for the love of god.

GRANDPROSSPRITE: You’re right; this is no time for monkey business.

GRANDPROSSPRITE: :)

JOSUKE: U G H

GRANDPROSSPRITE: Puns aside, you do have quite a lot in store for you, it seems. You and your friends.

GRANDPROSSPRITE: Its a lot to put on you all but I think you can do it.

JOSUKE: wait, what are we doing?

GRANDPROSSPRITE: Ending a war between two planets.

JOSUKE:....excuse me what?

GRANDPROSSPRITE: I know it sounds crazy: I wouldn’t believe it if you told me before all this.

GRANDPROSSPRITE: But I’m your guide now so I have to know these things and prepare you for them. 

GRANDPROSSPRITE: But before today, two kingdoms fought in an endless stalemate. With your prototyping, you opened the game: a game destined to be lost by the forces of light, Prospit, and destroyed by the dark, Derse.

JOSUKE: woah woah woah slow it down abit.

JOSUKE: what’re they fighting for? where the heck is all this happening?

GRANDPROSSPRITE: Past the gates above the house is Skaia. Prospit defends it, Derse wants it destroyed.

GRANDPROSSPRITE: I’m not sure where Earth was related to all this, but the planets you and your friends are on now are between Derse and Prospit and orbiting Skaia.

JOSUKE: so they just wanna basically blow up….a star or something?

GRANDPROSSPRITE: It’s not quite a star. It’s a planet with limitless potential when it comes to creation and knowledge of the future, though I’m not sure what’s supposed to be done with it.

GRANDPROSSPRITE: What I do know is that, eventually, through lots of hard work and with lots of determination and teamwork, I know you and your friends can defeat Derse.

JOSUKE: wait, knowledge of the future? the whole planet is psychic?

GRANDPROSSPRITE: It seems so. Though it probably has some means to give what it knows out. A planet can’t do all too much on its own… Maybe that’s why you all are here too: because it needed you to be.

JOSUKE: that’s a lot of pressure ...and headaches.

GRANDPROSSPRITE: Don’t worry about it, my boy! You have plenty of time to prepare and plenty of shoulders to lean on!

GRANDPROSSPRITE: Don’t look so sad or I’ll get more puns. :)

JOSUKE: thanks gramps… :}

They pulled to a shore, Ryohei plucking the bed from the water and leaning it against one of the trees, the minor impact shaking loose a plump peach. He laughed slightly as it bonked Josuke when it fell before picking it up himself.

JOSUKE: wait do you even still need to eat?

GRANDPROSSPRITE: I may not need to but I’ve been having a craving for some fruit.

GRANDPROSSPRITE; G Y E G H!

He dropped the peach after a single bite, the inside looking brown and foul. It had looked so nice from the trees, why did they have to taste so b a d!?

GRANDPROSSPRITE: >:(

JOSUKE: HEHEHEEH! i’m sorry i shouldn’t laugh but your face was great.

GRANDPROSSPRITE: >:)

JOSUKE: wh-

GRANDPROSSPRITE: Have some!

JOSUKE: GYA! GRANDPA NO, IT WAS ON THE FLOOR!

JOSUKE: STOP CHASING ME YOU MANIAC!

GRANDPROSSPRITE: AHAHAHAH! >:D

* * *

woundsBeyond [WB] began trolling ecentricEvolutionary [EE]

[WB] I’m sorry if our last conversation has made you wary of me.

[WB] I want to apologize and start over.

[EE] I’m kinda busy here…..

[EE] And also kinda freaking out.

[EE] Wait, actually, maybe this will help.

[EE] Type away.

[WB] Can I ask what’s wrong?

[WB] Did something else happen?

[EE] Where do I start???

[EE] I had to stab these….things! In my own house! I had to run to the kitchen and snag a steak knife!

[EE] And then I open the front door and it’s pitch black out there!

[EE] All the while this annoying fly thing keeps calling me a hoe!

[EE] I’m not a hoe! :(

[WB] Oh that sounds like quite the problem!

[WB] I’m sorry that your sprite is less than helpful.

[WB] Perhaps I can substitute?

[WB] I won’t know all the intricacies for you but perhaps I can direct you.

[WB] Can you at least get it to tell you the planet’s name?

[EE] The planet? T-this is a new planet???

[WB] Yes. All of your friends got one as well.

[WB] It’s part of the game. A part that Yukako has lead me to believe Jotaro omitted when telling you about it…

[EE] You talked to Yukako?

[WB] Just now, actually.

[WB] She had….quite a bit to say….

[WB] Frankly, she scares me. B(

[WB] But that’s to be expected from someone like her, if I’m judging her character correctly.

Koichi sat up in his bed, pulling his blanket closer. Yeah him being huddled in his room again with a knife was kind of pathetic but he was adjusting! He looked at Buzzboxsprite, who was idly rapping to itself. It seemed fond of Eminem for some reason and it was getting annoying very fast.

KOICHI: Hey, do you know the name of this place?

BUZZBOXSPRITE: GOODGODDIPDOALITTLEZZZLIDEBZZENDDOWNTOUCHYOURTOEZZZANDJUSTGLIDEUPTHECENTEROFTHEDANCFLOOR

KOICHI: You’re no F U C K I N G help

BUZZBOX: BZZEOCH

[EE] He just called me a “BZZEOCH” when I asked.

[EE] But, uh, what do you mean by “someone like her”? What are you implying here?

[WB] Do you believe in the Zodiac?

[EE] Uh, not really?

[EE] Most the stuff with Zodiacs are so vague it’s like a universal thing???

[EE] “Oh yeah if you’re an Aries you’re gonna have very slightly above average luck!” then nothing different happens!

[WB] Well imagine the Zodiac, but rather than months and stars, it’s personality traits and aspects of existence.

[EE] Wait what???

[WB] The universe is bound by 12 aspects, just as there are 12 signs of the Zodiac.

[WB] Time, Breath, Doom, Blood, Heart, Space, Mind, Light, Void, Rage, Hope and Life

[WB] Though the order does not really matter unlike the zodiac.

[WB] It sounds complicated, I know.

[EE] It sounds like nonsense, really….

[EE] But also I’m kinda curious.

[EE] Does it line up to the zodiac too?

[WB] Well some signs are more likely to be likely to be different aspects.

[EE] So, uh, what do you think Yukako is then?

[WB] Well she has a great deal of negative emotion to her, but that may have just been the timing so I can’t say Rage for certain... BT

[EE] Yeah I can understand her being pretty peeved about all this right now…yet again sometimes she’s just like that.

[EE] Well, uh, then what about you then?

[WB] Me?

[WB] Well I’m a Space player. 

[EE] And what’s that mean?

[WB] Well, from who I am and who I’ve met with the same aspect, they tend to be ...Patient and creative but with the tendency to be vague.

[EE] Well you were that last part to a tee.

[EE] No offense though! I’m sorry.

[WB] Oh none taken: I’m trying to work on that.

[EE] Well, uh, can you think of any way to get my sprite to listen to me then?

[EE] Unless you wanted to keep going…

[WB] Oh no, I shouldn’t sidetrack you quite yet! 

[WB] Hm...Maybe try to mimic them a bit? The best way to make someone comfortable with you is to act likeminded.

[EE] I’ll...try that I guess...

Koichi loosened his grip on the blanket, looking around almost fearing he would be caught by someone…

KOICHI: ...HEY, S H I THEAD! WHAT PLANET IS THIS!?

BUZZBOXSPRITE: LAND OF HALLZZZ AND HORRORZZZ, MOTHERFUCKER!

KOICHI: THANK YOU, S L U T!

[EE] Sadly, that worked…

[WB] And?

[EE] ….I got the horror level...The Land of Halls and Horrors...

[WB] DB That’s not good at all!

[WB] I can’t help you with what will be in what I assume is a maze but know that if you need a minute, I will gladly try and help you calm down!

[EE] That’s….actually really nice of you. Thank you.

[WB] You’re welcome. I should also try and contact the others if they’re not preoccupied…

[WB] Oh, I almost forgot.

[WB] When you get the Punch Designx, punch this code into a blank card and tell it to the others. It’ll let you pool your materials! Jotaro likely already has one you can copy though if you forget.

[WB] The code is JBMNmMiN

[EE] Thank you so much!

[EE] Uh it feels weird thanking you without a name to use. Are you cool with Wounds?

[WB] My name? Did I not bring it up?

[EE] No, you just said you were friends with Jotaro and Rohan.

[WB] Oh, that must have seemed terribly rude.

[WB] My name is Tsukumojuku! BD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Planets~  
Josuke - Land of Swamps and Peaches  
Koichi - Land of Halls and Horrors  
Yukako - Land of Steam and Shade  
Okuyasu- Land of Frogs and Flame  
Rohan - Land of Ink and Chaos  
Jotaro - Land of Gears and Rain  
Visuals can be found here  
https://z-paladin.tumblr.com/post/187430809575/ive-learned-how-to-make-the-homestuck-planets-so
> 
> Keippasprite's text color is the same as before.


	5. Intermission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alt Title: You thought I wasn't about to make a big kerfuffle? >:)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work has been kickin my butt but I'm trying.   
Writing when you have a 10 hour shift most days is hard and I also got sick so.
> 
> NOT TO MENTION THIS TOOK A LOT OF STUFF!   
I ALREADY HAD A GENERAL SPREADSHEET OF JOJOSTUCK THINGS BUT I HAD TO ADD MORE JUNK!   
LIKE, A LOT OF STUFF!!!

JOUTA: () Yo, Tsuku! The girls are bugging Kars again. ()

TSUKUMOJUKU: Really? Again?

JOUTA: () Yeah and I’m pretty sure he’s half ready to lock himself in his lab again too. You know how he gets. ()

TSUKUMOJUKU: Did Esidsi tell them off yet?

JOUTA: () He’s busy with his space ship stuff and Jorge keeps asking to test pilot one. ()

TSUKUMOJUKU: Junior, I take it? Figures...

TSUKUMOJUKU: What about Jean?

JOUTA: () He actually approves in her pestering him…I think he thinks it’s cute? Funny? I dunno: I ain’t friends with the dude. ()

TSUKUMOJUKU: Alright I’ll talk to them. I wanted to see how everybody’s been doing anyway.

JOUTA: () Maybe you can take the shades off. That’ll get em to leave ‘im alone, ey? Hehe. ()

TSUKUMOJUKU: I have stuff to do too, you know. I don’t think Sherry and Holly would be as enthralled with me talking to Jotaro’s friends as they are with Kars’ experiments.

Jouta shrugs before slipping out the door with the satisfying swish. Tsukumojuku sighs before he gets up from his desk and follows suit. He walked down one of the many near identical hallways of this makeshift sort of apartment complex, passing many a blank eyed consort turned troll...They still kinda freaked him out sometimes, but they usually leave when other people show up if they do get inside...Though some have gotten the additions of braided hair or flower crowns, finding the culprits a few sliding doors away with another Kars in their careful clutches.

GIORNO: Oh, detective, you’re out early.

SUMIRE: Oh! Hi Tsuku!

IKURO: !!!

TSUKUMOJUKU: Hey Sumire, Giorno, Ikuro. Holly and Sherry are bothering Kars again and I guess it’s my turn to get them to leave. Just stretching my legs a bit first.

GIORNO:Again? Seriously? I don’t know why they’re so interested in those grubs, anyway. I can make plenty of insects and they show zero interest.

SUMIRE: I think it’s because they’re kinda like babies. 

SUMIRE: They are troll babies, right?

GIORNO: I think so… Hm….

IKURO: I agree with Kars on this one...I mean, if they are like his babies, then them playing around with them without consent is a bit…

SUMIRE:...

IKURO: I’m not so close to those two, so maybe they have their reasons...

SUMIRE: I mean, they probably do mean well. I don’t think Holly has it in her to do anything that she knows would upset someone and Sherry probably put her up to it to annoy him anyway...

TSUKUMOJUKU: And to be fair, I don’t think Kars cares so much about the babies....

GIORNO: If he did, he could just have these consorts watch them…

The clone moved at the mention of consorts, Ikuro adjusting to keep the braid going smoothly as Sumire kept up the crown making. Giorno, however, stood up.

GIORNO: Well, I think you have enough flowers.

SUMIRE: Yeah.

IKURO: Mhm...

GIORNO: You two know where to find me, right?

IKURO: Fugo’s room?

SUMIRE: Ikuro!

IKURO: What?

TSUKUMOJUKU: ???   
  


Giorno had scrunched his eyes shut, shoving his hands into his pants pockets…Wait, was he blushing?

TSUKUMOJUKU: …

TSUKUMOJUKU: OH!

GIORNO: ...Don't ...Make a big deal out of it, okay? Any of you.

TSUKUMOJUKU: Uh, congratulations?

TSUKUMOJUKU: Forgive me, I’m not the best with relationship things. Is congrats-

GIORNO: It’s perfectly fine now excuse me…

Giorno makes a hasty exit from the room, leaving the four in silence…

IRUKO: ...Wait, it was a secret?

SUMIRE: ...YES!

IKURO: Oh…

TSUKUMOJUKU: Uh ...I'm gonna go now too before stuff gets wild in the labs...

SUMIRE: Bye, Tsuku…

SUMIRE: Seriously, Iruko, how did you not know it was a secret!?

IKURO: I’m sorry no one told me! I thought it was obvious!

With that awkward interaction under his belt, he power walks out of the room and down yet another hallway to a more spacious common area, various people trying to find something to do….and tucked away in a sad but familiar sight in the darker portion in an unfinished hallway was Santan and Diavolo, sitting with familiar green pies...

TSUKUMOJUKU: Awww, guys, come on. Don’t tell me you guys made more of that stuff…

DIAVOLO: THEN␥WE␥WON’T␥TELL␥YOU.

SANTAN: Non irrumabo usque nostra, grauis, autem penitus aboleatur.

TSUKUMOJUKU:You know Latin and Spanish are close enough so I can sorta understand you, right?

SANTAN: Quid est hoc? Сосать мой член, безрогий козел.

TSUKUMOJUKU: Of course you’re not gonna be any help…

TSUKUMOJUKU: Didn’t Doppio and Bruno talk to you about this? Come on, man.

DIAVOLO: THEY␥DON’T␥GET␥ME␥LIKE␥THE␥TROLLS␥DO␥MAN.

DIAVOLO: SANTAN␥AND␥I␥ARE␥MOIRAILS␥NOW! HE␥KNOWS␥WHAT’S␥UP!

DIAVOLO: WHAT’S␥GOOD␥FOR␥ME!

TSUKUMOJUKU: And wouldn’t Doppio be your “matesprit” then?

DIAVOLO: ….

TSUKUMOJUKU: And you remember how sad he got when he saw you passed out face down in this stuff?

DIAVOLO: …HE␥DID␥GET␥REAL␥SAD...

SANTAN: Не будь долбаным нарком, детектив-принцесса подушек.

DIAVOLO: I␥DON’T␥KNOW␥RUSSIAN! 

DIAVOLO: BE␥REAL␥WITH␥ME!

SANTANS: hhhh….. Non con il detective qui, ok?

TSUKUMOJUKU: Yeah yeah I can leave. Just, man, come on.

DIAVOLO: WE’LL␥TALK␥ABOUT␥IT␥OKAY!? GEESH!

He let out a sigh as he moved from the desolate dead end hallway, hearing the “moirails” start a full conversation in italian in the corner. Winding out from there and out of the common area, he begins a decent down a recently added flight of stairs to an even more recently made “science wing”, as Kars called it. It was mostly empty save for alchemy equipment, vials, and odd tubes mounted to the ceiling and floor. There was the sound of distant arguments…

KAKRAS: ```Stop coddling them - they’re not of the true bloods.```

SHERRY: Je suis désolé, monsieur Kars! These are children!

HOLLY: ~Yeah! >:< ~

KAKRAS: ``` So what are you going to do? Use your final, heroic deaths for grubs?```

SHERRY: If they are doomed to die by your blades, then I will heal them.

HOLLY: ~That goes for me too!~

KAKRAS: ```Detective, please convince them to leave me to my bidding. I’m losing my patience. ```

HOLLY: Oh? Oh! Tsuku-chan!

SHERRY: Tsuku, merci, help us out here.

TSUKUMOJUKU: Oh, you noticed me. Um…

Tsuku steps into the room in full, Kars standing over Sherry and Holly, both in their robes. They only used the robes when they foresaw conflict, which was already a rare sight for the two girls, but for them to have supposedly started the altercation?Not to mention the differences in the classes would leave them utterly outclassed in anything but healing, being Maid of Hope and Sylph of Doom trying to handle what would only be a final boss: a Lord of Life....   
Holly is carrying a grub with three horns and a pale green body in one arm and another with 4 horns and a lavender body while Sherry holds a large neon yellow one in her own arms...Wait, is this technically a hostage situation? He’ll have to talk carefully...

TSUKUMOJUKU: Well...What is your “bidding” here, Kars?

KAKRAS: ```What else? The recreation of the pure troll bloods, though using the consort clones has led to deviations that will cause problems with the gene pool.```

KAKRAS: ```So I am nipping the problem in the bud.```

SHERRY: But you are the Lord of Life!

KAKRAS: ```Luck is not in the dealings of the Lord of Life. Should I let these genes be passed, even when changed to be recessive, the chance still remains! Let alone the possible heightened chances of voidrot!```

KAKRAS: ```I can’t believe I’m getting worked up over girls who don’t know what they’re talking about.```

SHERRY: MONSIEUR! I-

SHERRY: Non, I shouldn’t….

HOLLY: ~No, let him have it! Say what you want to say!~

SHERRY: ….Brother, forgive me….

SHERRY: You’re an unfeeling worm! We’ve told you before, time and time again, that there should be another way to get this blood you seem to care so much about but you won’t hear a word of it! We understand that your race is important to you, but the needless slaughter of children just cannot stand by us, even if they are “not the true bloods” or even our species! A child is a child! Just don’t add them back to the fu-FREAKING gene pool then! You don’t have to kill them like some kind of maniac!

HOLLY: :O

TSUKUMOJUKU: B^O

KAKRAS: ```...```

SHERRY: Je suis désolé, mais il devait être dit…

KAKRAS: ```How dare you-```

HOLLY: ~Hey now! Why don’t we just….take the babies.~

KAKRAS: ```Quiet, girl. Now-```

TSUKUMOJUKU: No, she has a point; the both of them.

HOLLY: :D

SHERRY: :o

TSUKUMOJUKU: You can go about whatever you need without sacrificing the young, right? How many are there?

KAKRAS: ``` I could in theory but that would take much more time. And so far, there are about 12 unculled grubs.```

TSUKUMOJUKU: And look, we have an empty hallway, far away from your...bidding, and possibly all the time in the world.

TSUKUMOJUKU: I’m sure that Mario, Elizabeth and Georgie wouldn’t have a problem fabricating a sort of nursery there! And the girls can look after them and you can just keep at your research!

KAKRAS:```G R A H!```

KAKRAS: ```...```

KAKRAS: ```So long as THEY are out of my hair, I couldn’t care any less at this point! Take the whelps!```

HOLLY: ~YAY!~

HOLLY: ~SHERRY YOU DID IT! WOO!~

SHERRY: ...I really did, huh?

HOLLY: ~YEAH YOU DID, GIRL! I’D HUG YOU BUT I DON’T WANNA SQUISH THE BABIES!~

KAKRAS: ```Please just get out already.```

The girls scooped up as many of the grubs as they could, the infants cooing and wriggling as Kars clutched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. They rushed toward the common areas, giggling about getting help with the squirming troll babies.

TSUKUMOJUKU: ...Sorry about that...

KAKRAS: ```No, they would have kept up their…”squeeing” had you now settled this tie...```

TSUKUMOJUKU: …Well I wouldn’t call it a tie since it was 2:1 but…

KAKRAS: ```Esidis was on my side, even if he’s rooms away.```

KAKRAS: ```Anyway; George wanted to see you, too.```

TSUKUMOJUKU: Which Jorge?

KAKRAS: ```Not Jorge. George. The G one.```

TSUKUMOJUKU: Oh, senior? He must’ve dropped his phone somewhere again...

TSUKUMOJUKU: Sorry, again, really….

KAKRAS: ```No. I told you to get them to leave, and they left…```

TSUKUMOJUKU: …

TSUKUMOJUKU: You know, for calling yourself a tyrant, you’re very open to compromise.

KAKRAS: ```Because I tolerate some of you people and losing you all as allies in a single outburst would be a grave error.```

TSUKUMOJUKU: Daw.

KAKRAS: ```Subject to change.```

TSUKUMOJUKU: B(

KAKRAS: ```That was a joke. I make those too: not just Esidis.```

KAKRAS: ```You could say it’s even in my blood.  ⁝:o) ```

TSUKUMOJUKU: No offense, but your routine could use some work.

KAKRAS: ```Everyone’s a critic.```

* * *

[HP] : okay folks; what’s the status report?

[HP]: do we gotta add another wing to the Game Over Hotel or nah?

[PB]: They only just started the game, Joseph, give them some time.

[SW]: o0I don’t know. If stuff even does go smooth things usually end up going wrong pretty quickly...I mean, just look at Dio’s session.o0

[TW]: Orr wwe cOulD nOt.

[TW]: I cOulDn’t help It that KIrra gOt a bIt stab happyy wwith hIs InternalIzeD hOmOphObIa.

[HP]: god i forgot that you type like that.

[TW]: I HAVE STICKY KEYYS OKAYY!?

[HP]: JUST W R AND Y THO??? AND THE CAPITAL DS IS AND OS??? THAT’S EXTRA AS HELL!

[TH]: I SPILLED 7UP ON MYY KEYYBOARD YYOU ASS AND I ALRREADYY DID THE CAPITALS!

[PB]: Dio, Joseph, please.

[PB]: Dio can type however he wants as long as we can read it.

[PB]: Now come on; we mustn't lose hope.

[TT]: ⋆ $10 bucks if they end up here in a month. ⋆

[PB]: Johnny, no! No bets! :(

[SF]: I’ll take that.

[SF]: DadNotDad seems to attract assholes every time.

[DB]: I talked to Tsuku and he said that they seem like a decent squad.

[DB]: The only one that seems likely to get killed by a teammate is Rohan.

[HP]: fuck, i forgot joji was here.

[CG]: () To many jojos. ()

[HP] wait what the fuck?

[HP]: which one is this one??? who the fuck???

[CG]: () Oh yeah most of you guys never fucked with Ectobiology huh?...()

[CG]: () Well basically though shitty goop game science I’m Jotaro and Kakyoin’s kid I guess. ()

[HP]: oh great we have a test tube baby in the group chat.

[CG]: () We can’t all be spawned by good old fashion -

[PB]: Nope. 

[PB]: Not gonna let you finish that sentence.

[HP]: but for real though are we gonna be stuck here another session or nah?

[HP]: yo, Georgie, did you get any vibes? talk to Doppio about that seer shit?

[TW]: YyOu knOww wwhat happeneD last tIme he trrIeD that shIt?

[TW]: He haD a fuckIng aneurryysm.

[TW]: Because seeIng tIme Is USELESS arrOunD JOtarrO!

[HP]: wait when’d he do that?

[TW]: Ourr sessIOn. Duh.

[SW]: o0 I know you said that Dio can type how he wants but can you please drop the random capitals? It gives me a headache… 0o

[TW]: Fine. But knoww that I am not doing it as a kindness!

[SW]: o0 Thank you! ^uu^ 0o

[JJ]: Sorry I responded so late, lads! I lost my phone again!

[JJ]: As for any visions: no luck. To many things are up in the air, as per usual.

[JJ]: But there is always a bright side!

[JJ]: Because even if the session leads to another addition to this dysfunctional little dust ball, it’ll be a good day for some!

[JJ]: Think of it like meeting new people if they do lose!

[PB]: Did you manage to learn anything thought? Anything at all?

[JJ]: Well my boy, I’ve got one thing for sure.

[JJ]: Any failure that lands them with us will be a blaze of glory.

[GE]: Oh fun...

[TT]: ⋆You just don’t wanna have competition for most fucked up session.⋆

[GE] No, I’m just tired of this. All this repetition is useless and frankly annoying.

[JJ]: Well there’s not much we can do but watch and wait for Jotaro to send word for phase two.

[HP]: aw man I’m fuckin tired of waiting….

[DB]: Tsuku said that Jotaro is confident this time. He’s pretty sure they can do it this time.

[PB]: I hope so…

[JJ]: <|> Did I miss something??? <|>

[HP]: …

[H[]: nah. you can scroll up, not-pops.

[JJ]: <|> Oh, okay. <|>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TEXT COLORS AND STUFF  
Jouta - chelicerousGhoul - #BCFF93 Mint Green  
Giorno - goldenEclipse - #FF7C8C Tulip Pink  
Sumire - vagabondLiaison - #A993FF Violet  
Ikuro - acervateParasite - #573EB9 Deep Purple  
Diavolo - kaleidescopeCapricious - #E0000B Crimson  
Santan (Santana) - bilobateMaxixe - #008282 Libra Teal  
Kakras (Kars) - macabreHypoxia - #2c0059 Capricorn Purple  
Sherry - lesTricheurs - #6E66AD Dark Blue Grey  
Holly - tenaciousPeony - #FF8EA1 Salmon Pink  
DIO - theologicWarlord - #FFEB3D Minion Yellow
> 
> Jonathan -phantomBiologist - #0000ff B L U E  
Joseph - hermitPrankster - #58CE2E Joker Green  
Jolyne - sapphicFlutter - #1B9968 Green Cyan  
Johnny - theatricTantalizer - #3F88C5 Oh Look More Blue  
Gappy -saltedWalkman - #FF882D Cadmium Orange  
Joji - damasceneBirefringence - #CC6690 Cinnamon Lipsticl  
George "Jorge" Joestar II - jungianJetstream - #593333 Liver


	6. Act 4 - 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Koichi section of act 4.  
We're doing this, bro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the weird/bad upload times but I work all week and writing is kinda hard and act 4 is where the real meat and potatoes now.  
I feel like I apologize every chapter but I mean it for real.

Koichi wandered through his planet’s endless maze, his phone in one hand and the knife dubbed Glit Gutter. He alchemized it from some long burnt out glow sticks and a knife, the green light and the buzzing harmonies of the monsters within being his only guide, as Buzzboxsprite continued to be a beacon of unhelpfulness rather than a guide. He glanced back to his chat now and again, this distant friends and this Tsukumojuku guy grounding him, even with all the creatures of his personal labyrinth jumping out at him.

[TH]: Okay Koichi I got an idea.

[TH]: What are the walls made of?

[EE]: Uh….It feels like shrubbery but I can’t be 100% sure….

He swipes a wall with Glit Gutter, carving off leaves and branches that looked pink in the light of the blade. With him messing with the halls, the brush rustled as the buzzing hit a crescendo: a group of imps jumping out in front of him. As they attacked with claws and polygons, Koichi made frantic and scared movements under and around, focusing on dodging as much as he could before screaming as he managed to plunge the knife into their stomachs, the glow stick fluid pouring out like a poison into their systems until they started to choke on their own bile, tainted by the glow of the impractical light source.

[EE]: Yeah I think it’s shrubs but me messing with it makes everything know where I am and jump me.

[EE]: So I can’t just cut through it, if that was your plan.

[TH]: Oh.

[TH]: I was gonna say set it on fire.

[EE]: W H

[TH]: Itd take the whole maze out! It sounded like a good plan in my head!

[EE]: My house is here, Okuyasu!

[EE]: My very much flammable house!

[TH]: Sorry sorry!

[TH]: Uh speaking of your house

[TH]: Did you make yourself a path back?

[EE]: Uh….I was kinda relying on the return nodes.

[EE]: ….but then I won’t know what path I went down, oh god dang it.

[TH]: Lucky I asked about it then huh!? XxD

[TH]: Aw dang it it looks weird when I add the scars…

[EE]: Okay so I need to ask Yukako to lend me some yarn eventually or something.

[EE]: Maybe just like the code for some of it…

[TH]: I borrowed some already for some shit Im making. The code is fuckin NY4N

[EE]: Oh My God...

[EE]: Well for now I guess I’ll keep going until I find another node.

[EE]: This feels like the farthest I’ve ever gone though, so that’s good.

[EE]: ….or I could be walking in circles.

[TH]: I could swing by your gate or whatever and help you beat some ass if you want.

[EE]: You should focus on your own stuff.

[EE]: Jotaro and Tsukumojuku made it seem like you and Josuke had more important stuff to do than me.

[TH]: Wait who???

[EE]: Oh, uh. Did you ever get messages from this woundsBeyond guy?

[TH]: No but thats the dude that gave this game to Jotaro right?

[EE]: Yup: that’s the guy.

[EE]: He’s pretty cool. Kinda weird but I mean who do we know that’s not weird.

[EE]: You could message him? Jotaro probably has his own important junk to do.

[TH]: Probs. Jotaro is good at making everything look important.

[TH]: I think I can chuck a message his way.

[TH]: Wait they are a dude right?

[EE]: I think so?

[EE]: And I think at this point it would be awkward to ask…

[TH]: Well Imma just play it cool.

testyHoosegow [TH] ceased pestering ecentricEvolutionary [EE]

Koichi keeps walking, listening out for the buzzing and beats from the imps of his personal hell.

He tries to focus on the music, keeping himself from feeling afraid. He even tries to sing along to what songs he can remember the words to. A Queen song starts, sounding close...He can’t decide on whether to be scared out of his mind of hype beyond description. No one is there to watch his singing crack with fear as the music draws closer before pouncing on him with a line of irony…

KOICHI: I DON’T WANNA DIE!

He stabs in a panic, the imp crumpling after he keeps ramming the blade into its chest cavity…

KOICHI: S-sometimes wish I’d never been born at all….Carry on carry on….

The music isn’t even playing but he keeps going, nervous laughter permeating through the shrubbery. Why couldn’t he have gotten a nice land? The Land of Bunnies and Lavender? The Land of Little Cubes and Tea? The Land of Literally Fucking Anything Else? His knife is made dim with bile that he wipes on his shirt. Is this blood or just some other junk? With a dour curiosity, he pulls his shirt up to give a quick smell to the sludge he wiped away: not metallic like blood but foul nonetheless. Oh god did he hit the intestines or something? Did he get the poop pipe? Is there videogame monster shit on his shirt now? He groans and debates crying, even if it’s just to make himself feel better. He’s alone in the dark with distant melodies and his own thoughts, even as they turn down even darker paths.

His mom and sister were out when he started.

Earth is gone now.

He got his mother and sister killed, didn’t he?

All for something so childish.

His walking grows faster as his sorrow becomes frustration, not noting or caring how close imps grow to him as tears start to run.

He killed his parents and the rest of the god damn planet.

Wait, no, was he just an accomplice to this?

Jotaro gave him the game just like he gave it to Josuke and he didn’t say a damn thing about planetary annihilation! 

His hand is tight on his knife as a new foe slithers out: a basilisk.

It reared up and hissed, pulling Koichi from his thoughts of doom, self doubt and building loathing.

He needed to focus on himself and the now: the things he has control of.

It attacks faster than the imps do, and with such narrow spaces it’s a hard thing to combat. As it pushed him back, his back pressed against the shrubs...and he let himself fall back. He needs to adapt, right? Get used to newer enemies? That’s how videogames work, no matter how meta-altering they are. So he rolls back and, as the serpentine foe lurches through the sticks after him, he brings his knife upward into its neck.

[EE]: I’ve decided I F U C K I N G hate basilisks.

[WB]: Oh? You’ve encountered them already?

[EE]: Uh yeah. Is that good? Bad?

[WB]: Well just like any videogame, the monsters and puzzles get more challenging as you go farther or deeper in.

[WB]: Though basilisks and orges tend to be interchanged in the order of appearance.

[WB]: So do look out for giant ogres too then.

[EE]: Good to know.

[WB]: By the way, your singing is surprisingly good.

[EE]: YOU COULD HEAR ME???

[WB] : ….

[WB]: I feel like I shouldn’t have…

[EE]: Oh god this is so embarrassing f u c k!

[WB]: Well I wanted to check on you and Trollian also gives me some audio feed. Not the best quality but I could hear you a little bit.

[EE]: Well mute it! That’s kinda creepy!

[EE]: And wait, if you have an audio feed, do you have a visual one too?

[WB]: Yes, though it’s limited.

[WB]: I try to not be too intrusive! I also don’t know how to turn that off so I make the window very, very small.

[EE]: Well if you can’t turn it off…

[EE]: Just don’t watch me without saying anything! It’s kinda creepy thinking about being watched all the time!

[WB]: Oh I understand that. Any time I check in, it’s only for a few moments unless we’re talking.

[EE]: Okay then…

[EE]: But since you’re here: any advice or something?

[WB]: Well, I think you had the right idea with your response to the basilisk.

[WB]: Moving through the hedges themselves will probably let you get through much faster, though it would be best to wait to do that until you’re used to these new enemy patterns.

[EE]: Okuyasu said I could just set it on fire…

[WB]: If not for your house, I would have agreed with him.

[EE]: I said basically the same thing!

[EE]: Ugh….And I gotta look out for these slab things…

[WB]: ?

[EE]: Jotaro told me to message him when I find a big slab somewhere in here.

[EE]: Says that each of us are gonna need it.

[WB]: Well it is a quest thing...Good luck out there though. I’d guide you through the maze but even I don’t see where exactly you’re even supposed to go.

[EE]: Well I appreciate it, dude.

[EE]: Wait, you are a dude, right?

Smooth, Koichi…

[WB]: Oh, yeah. I am.

[EE]: Oh okay.

Smooth….Like a dead horse down a ski slope...filled with rocks...off a cliff.

He keeps on walking as he makes mental notes of where he has turned and where he hasn’t. As he makes a final left turn, he pauses as he comes up to a flight of stairs ...Great: this thing has levels…

As he descends, the darkness seems to double in its density. Walls of carved stone replace the woven plants, going from floor to ceiling.

KOICHI: Okay...so they can’t jump me through the walls…

KOICHI: But I also can’t see over or through them…

KOICHI: Fuuun….

He could barely see in front of him, but he managed to find the first turn of the labyrinth. While the hedges were sharp 90 degree angles, the walls of the stone layer curved into the turns. So even if he just picked a wall and kept going, he’d be winding in circles until he found a better light? Just fucking superb. He held his phone out to boost his vision, but found himself locking eyes with ...something. It wasn’t a monster, but a scraggly and sleepy eyed lizard…

IGUANA: thwip….

KOICHI: Okay….Hi, buddy?

IGUANA: ….thiwip….

KOICHI: Uh….Okay…

He keeps going down this one path, finding more and more sleepy iguanas. In the distance, there was more light, slowly going on and off like fireflies at night. He hurried his steps, though keeping his knife primed and ready. As he neared it, there were practically piles of iguanas….piles that were still… His steps slowed as he crossed under an archway, crossing the threshold into a large circular chamber with various levels, forming a sort of ramshackle town...

KOICHI: Oh….Oh geesh….uh…

IGUANA: You.

KOICHI: Oh hey you guys actually talk, okay.

IGUANA: Surface…

IGUANA: Warmth….dead…

KOICHI: Okay….so you guys are in a pickle cause it’s always dark outside?

IGUANA: yes…

KOICHI: Um….Don’t know how to help with that…

IGUANA: He rose….rose and blocked the light in his wicked wings….

IGUANA: Chernabog…

KOICHI: ….That sounds like a boss fight….crap…

KOICHI: I’ll get to that, but I need directions, kinda…

KOICHI: Have any of you seen a slab of stone somewhere around here?

KOICHI: A friend said it was important.

IGUANA:....three...perhaps four floors down….

KOICHI: And where is this Chernobyl guy?

IGUANA: The deepest level…

KOICHI: Okay. After the slab, I’ll, uh, try and deal with that guy.

IGUANA: Please….hero….

He hurries his pace, stopping when need be to catch his breath. Minions of Chernabog roamed the labyrinth ever still, though Koichi was unsure of how they could not only survive out here, but seemingly be generated from the aether. Yes this was technically a videogame and one could write it off as their spawn rate, but that logic wouldn’t sit with him. He wandered around with a sylladex full of snacks and supplies, half making mental notes and half arguing with himself over the lore of this bullshit hell maze he got thrown into. Who tends to the shrubbery? It’s meticulously trimmed so it can’t just be like that, right? And did the iguanas carve these lower layers? They probably couldn’t’ve with how cold it would be as they kept going. He pulled his clothes closer….he shoulda brought at least a hoodie.

[LD]: How you holding up, trooper? <3

[EE]: Okay I guess??? Just trying to get to the slab before I have to go back. Didn’t leave any path markers so I’m glad I’ve got food and a futon.

[LD]: Didn’t you make a teleporter thing?

[EE]: …..What???

[LD]: Oh did I not get you a code for that? 

[LD]: Transportalizer ring any bells?

[EE]: No???

[LD]: Huh….This is quite the problem then.

[LD]: Me and Jotaro planned to use them to bypass the rings system.

[LD] Cause good lord is it annoying.

[LD]: We haven’t tried planet to planet yet but it should work.

[EE]: I thought you were, like, mad at him still???

[LD]: Oh, insurmountably so.

[LD]: But, as you can imagine, this temporary ceasefire will make the eventual confrontation all the more satisfying.

[EE]: But isn’t he, like, 30 or something?

[EE]: Wouldn’t he easily beat you?

[LD]: Up front: probably.

[LD]: But there are always other means of approach. :)

[EE]: Oh my god!

[EE]: Do not literally back stab him! He’s the one who knows how the game works!

[LD]: Oh? And what of that WB? Hm?

[LD]: Jotaro is replaceable.

[EE]: Yukako no!

[LD]: He can’t be trusted! Not anymore!

[EE]: If you literally assassinate him, then neither will you!

[LD]: >:T

[EE]: Yukako, come on. Just, like…

[EE]: I dunno but do something other than murder!

[LD]: Fine.

[EE]: Thank you.

[EE]: And if those teleporter thingies work, let me know.

[LD]: ^u^

He turns a corner to be met with a large leg and the pound of bass…   
Oh….one of those ogres, huh?

It takes up the whole of the path, looking cramped and uncomfortable in the corridor, holes knocked in the walls to make way for its arms, though rendering it stuck. It kicked at him, but it was as slow as its size would allude to, not to mention Koichi having the advantage of being short. Screaming all the while, he slashed and stabbed at the kicking limbs as he tried to not get punted like a child-shaped football. Some imps had came around thanks to his apparently luring scream overlaid the deep bass pounds, but they ended up taking most of the kicks from the goliath as he whittled its HP down, grist, glowstick juice, and bile flying everywhere in the blind scramble between the parties involved. The ogre stopped moving after some time, but Koichi kept stabbing until is vanished in a puff of grist like all the others. He panted with his hair tossled as he rose another rank on the Echeladder. He had never really kept track of it when he was growing up, but now that he realized that he had reached another level, it started to be another thing on this game that’s been nagging at him. He half remembers getting a few levels before even starting this game! How the hell does that even work!? He groans as another impossibility stacks up on all the other mechanics of this stupid game. In his internal grumblings, he found another return node, quickly jumping in to return home to actually get some kind of marker.

[HD]: ✒ Koichi, I have to ask you a very important question.

[EE]: I’m getting ready to head back out so please make it quick.

[HD]: ✒ Do you have the same weird dreams as Okuyasu?

[EE]: Hm? Oh, those weird cloud dreams he talks about?

[EE]: No, I don’t. I think he’s the only one of us that does, or at least talks about it.

[HD]: ✒ He said he saw me in a place similar to the one of his odd dreams.

[HD]: ✒ If those dreams are as prophetic as they seem to be, then what does that mean?

[EE]: Well, did you ask when he started having them?

[HD]: ✒ I did ask him but he made me promise to not tell anyone what started them. He specifically mentioned Yukako being number one person to not tell.

[HD]: ✒ Obviously with the threat of violence.

[EE]: Well, if you can’t tell me specifically, then what’s the general thing?

[EE]: Your hypothesis or something?

[HD]: ✒ Trauma - it seems to start after a great series of traumas or one particularly traumatizing event.

[EE]: Oh geesh… I’m still gonna respect that he doesn’t want me to know, but

[EE]: Do you think you’ve got a trauma you just locked up enough?

[EE]: Or did you not have it yet?

[HD]: ✒ I know I had similar dreams once, but I can’t place what could have “woken me up” there.

[HD]: ✒ I just have bits and pieces of this place and it’s driving me crazy!

Koichi grabs the biggest ball of yarn he could make with the ‘NY4N’ code: alchemizing a few duplicates before putting it in his deck along side a big handful of tent poles to tie them too if need be and a bunch of duct tape. He put a stake in his yard, looped the first bit of yarn, and started walking again, keeping time with the distant songs of his foes. He has ceased giving a shit about whatever his sprite is doing, seeing how it sure as hell doesn’t help him any.

[HD]: ✒ I’ve tried talking through it with Okuyasu, asking if his dreams could show me what I needed, but he’s no help!

[HD]: ✒ Says he can’t pick what he sees in there, can you believe that!?

[EE]: ...Rohan, will you let me be honest with you?

[HD]: ✒ Yes.

[EE]: We’re playing a reality altering videogame that tracked your combat skills even before you start the game and puts you on whole other planets to do god knows what and it’s the mechanics of LITERAL PROPHETIC DREAMS that’s bothering you?

[EE]: Of ALL THE THINGS that have happened over the course of this week, it's the mechanics of LITERAL PROPHETIC DREAMS that’s gotten to you?

[EE]: Huh? Just that? That’s the only problem you have? The only F U C K I N G problem you have with this!?

[HD]: ✒ …

[HD]: ✒….I see that you’re stressed about this too so I’m going to leave you be…

[EE]: Oh no I can see you’re F U C K I N G dying to hear some stuff about this game and all of the crap I’ve noticed!

[EE]: More than half of my route is underground. There aren’t any air holes or nothing but everything seems to breathe just fine down there.

[EE]: Monsters just spawn in despite having no origin point.

[EE]: We’re being watched by the guy that gave this game to Jotaro.

[EE]: And worst of all, THE EARTH IS ALL F U C K I N G DEAD!

[HD]: ✒ Σ:T

[EE]: I’ve been out here fighting for my freaking life! I didn’t sign up for this! I signed up for a fun time with some friends! This blows! >:c(

[HD]: ✒ Koichi, you said someone was watching us...Who is it?

[EE]: Hhhh…. His name is Tsukumojuku. Cool enough of a guy and I know he’s trying to help but I’m just.

[EE]: Kinda freaking out, kinda having a nervous breakdown, and also angry out of my mind.

[HD]: ✒ Doesn’t Yukako normally get to be the therapist?

[EE]: Don’t do this, man, I’m already mad beyond belief and if another basilisk jumps out at me, I might just do what Okuyasu said and set this whole god dang thing on fire!

[EE]: If he can survive on a planet that’s always on fire, I’m ready to check my freaking chances!

[HD]: ✒ I’m out of my element here but I will say that setting your maze on fire seems like an absolutely terrible idea.

[HD]: ✒ So don’t do that.

[EE]: I’m sorry I’m just 

[EE]: I’m stressed but I’m making decent enough time to where I was before I jumped home.

[EE]: Enemy fluids still stay around for a while, gross as it sounds, so at least I don’t have to go 100% by memory…

[EE]: And the glowstick juice is pretty easy to spot.

[EE]: I’m already on the second level again.

[EE]: Shit just adds up

[EE]: Wait I forgot to space that out.

[HD]: ✒ It doesn’t matter: you’re in a moment.

[EE]: I’m getting to more enemies I guess so I’ll have to hurry this up.

[EE]: TLDR, uh, if there is something after all of this, I’m getting proper therapy; not just second hand therapy from Yukako.

With a final enter, he focuses on the path. It feels stupid to keep describing it, thse repetative wanderings. More walking, narrow passages, musical monsters, and panicked stabbings - a true hobbit journey, even ignoring the easy jab at his height. Yes, his land seemed to be the most monotonous and tedious once you got past the jumpscare shrubbery and moved down into the stone walls of annoyance. Sure the ever present threat of death was, in fact, present, but it was the most  **trivial** kind of threat of death. It wasn’t waves or hordes or perilous landscapes...It was hallways…..a bunch of the same….god damn….hallways. Another floor is opened, and another wave of hallways sprawls out like the mad work of a drunken architect. It’s less scary now and more...suffocating. He was claustrophobic, yeah, but he technically still had space, even if it was chock a block with imps and basilisks. The air was dusty as all hell, as to be expected with winding corridors of supposedly ancient stone...Wait, did the iguanas even mention how old all this junk was? Well it has an ancient enough aesthetic so we’re gonna roll with ancient. He walks through cacophonous halls once again, running his knife along the wall alongside the yarn. He’s glad that the knife seemed to have a limitless supply of glowing slime for him to paint the walls with… At that thought he pauses…

In a jovial act of defiance, he draws the ever classic phallus on the wall. He snickers, but then thinks hard on it...Can the imps follow this trail too? Mix his yarn up?   
He was fine getting here before, so it’s be more infuriating than actually a hindrance and- oh?

He sees light he didn’t place, but not flickering like that of the iguana village. He follows the light, his phone firm in hand. He scoots along the wall as the light brings about silence...A silence that makes all the terror of these halls return to him; he has no musical escapism.

As he nears the light, the shadows of its target leave a chunk of black against the almost lime glow of the, as of yet unknown, light source. It can’t be that Chernabog guy, he’s at the way lower reaches of this stupid place; no, this has to be… The slab! He runs around the corner, finding just that - an almost golden plate of stone emboldened by an inscribed sun and a sphere of writhing glowworms stuck to the ceiling. He looks at it and pauses… Does he tell Jotaro? He was the one who said it was important to find but something about Yukako’s distrust…

[EE]: Hey, Tsuku, what do those slabs do?

[WB]: Oh, you reached the quest bed, then?

[EE]: Yeah. You can widen the window if you wanna take a look, I’m cool with it this time.

[WB]: Well I’ll be, you did it.

[EE]: So this is as important as Jotaro says it is?

[WB]: Yes. It’s insurmountably important. In fact, with your class being what it is, I’m surprised it even came to you as easy as it did.

[WB]: Though in tandem with your aspect, I suppose things were bound to come a bit easier…

[EE]: Oh, so you figured mine out then?

[WB]: Yes, though the slab itself was a confirmation for one half.

[WB]: That symbol is the symbol of light - the aspect of knowledge, luck, and the spotlight.

[WB]: And your class is the page - one who serves their aspect.

[WB]: Your prototyping allowed no imp to truly get the jump on you - putting the spotlight onto them and increasing your luck.

[WB]: Your land is the opposite rather than complimentary - meant to be a challenge but diffused by how your classpect has woven itself.

[EE]: Oh hey, I guess that’s pretty cool.

[EE]: So what do I do with it?

[EE]: The quest bed thing?

[WB]: Koichi… I’m sorry.

woundsBeyond [WB] ceased trolling eccentricEvolutionary [EE]

The air feels like its even heavier as he stands in this chamber, standing besides this quest bed. What could he be sorry about? Was it the watching him thing? He said it was cool, so why would he-

In a single moment, he feels...cold.

Something cold then overcome with heat.

He looks down, finding the blade of a knife through his abdomen…

There is a glow muddied by his own blood...

Wait….no, that’s...Glits Gutter?

His own knife?

He staggers. He can’t pull it out: it’ll worsen the bleeding…

In another moment, he feels the blade pulled out anyway, though from the front rather than the back - the point of initial puncture…He bites his lip as he feels himself start to cry. To describe this pain would be useless: its a stab wound - no way to sugar coat that in description. It hurts like a motherfucker and then some. He tries to stabilize himself, leaning on the slab, but then just….finds himself atop it...Like a skipped cutscene or a lag spike...And someone else was there, standing besides the slab and holding his hand...like someone at the bedside of a dying relative.

He looks around as his vision blurs in bloody reds and shining yellows, broken up by that single blur of white…

And then he closes his eyes.

_ And he dies. _


	7. Act 4 - 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing down the player list...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry this one took fucking forever but Rohan was VERY hard to give things to do here.  
I killed 2 birds with one stone with the outcome here but know I am gonna TRY to get this out at a decent speed. (Again - WORK IS HELL)  
I also cleaned up the tagging and started to mentally animate a possible actual soundpage...
> 
> No Beta Readers - We Die Like Fools

ROHAN: ✒ What am I forgetting!?

ROHAN: ✒ What could I be missing!?

He throws his papers in a fit of frustration, turning to what was once a tied up imp - reduced to bile and collectables. 

  
[HD]: ✒ Koichi, I have to ask you a very important question.

[EE]: I’m getting ready to head back out so please make it quick.

[HD]: ✒ Do you have the same weird dreams as Okuyasu?

[EE]: Hm? Oh, those weird cloud dreams he talks about?

[EE]: No, I don’t. I think he’s the only one of us that does, or at least talks about it.

[HD]: ✒ He said he saw me in a place similar to the one of his odd dreams.

[HD]: ✒ If those dreams are as prophetic as they seem to be, then what does that mean?

[EE]: Well, did you ask when he started having them?

[HD]: ✒ I did ask him but he made me promise to not tell anyone what started them. He specifically mentioned Yukako being number one person to not tell.

[HD]: ✒ Obviously with the threat of violence.

[EE]: Well, if you can’t tell me specifically, then what’s the general thing?

[EE]: Your hypothesis or something?

[HD]: ✒ Trauma - it seems to start after a great series of traumas or one particularly traumatizing event.

[EE]: Oh geesh… I’m still gonna respect that he doesn’t want me to know, but

[EE]: Do you think you’ve got a trauma you just locked up enough?

[EE]: Or did you not have it yet?

[HD]: ✒ I know I had similar dreams once, but I can’t place what could have “woken me up” there.

[HD]: ✒ I just have bits and pieces of this place and it’s driving me crazy!

[HD]: ✒ I’ve tried talking through it with Okuyasu, asking if his dreams could show me what I needed, but he’s no help!

[HD]: ✒ Says he can’t pick what he sees in there, can you believe that!?

[EE]: ...Rohan, will you let me be honest with you?

[HD]: ✒ Yes.

[EE]: We’re playing a reality altering videogame that tracked your combat skills even before you start the game and puts you on whole other planets to do god knows what and it’s the mechanics of LITERAL PROPHETIC DREAMS that’s bothering you?

[EE]: Of ALL THE THINGS that have happened over the course of this week, it's the mechanics of ACTUAL F U C K I N G PROPHETIC DREAMS that’s gotten to you?

[EE]: Huh? Just that? That’s the only problem you have? The only F U C K I N G problem you have with this!?

[HD]: ✒ …

[HD]: ✒….I see that you’re stressed about this too so I’m going to leave you be…

[EE]: Oh no I can see you’re F U C K I N G dying to hear some stuff about this game and all of the crap I’ve noticed!

[EE]: More than half of my route is underground. There aren’t any air holes or nothing but everything seems to breathe just fine down there.

[EE]: Monsters just spawn in despite having no origin point.

[EE]: We’re being watched by the guy that gave this game to Jotaro.

[EE]: And worst of all, THE EARTH IS ALL F U C K I N G DEAD!

[HD]: ✒ Σ:T

[EE]: I’ve been out here fighting for my freaking life! I didn’t sign up for this! I signed up for a fun time with some friends! This blows! >:c(

[HD]: ✒ Koichi, you said someone was watching us...Who is it?

[EE]: Hhhh…. His name is Tsukumojuku. Cool enough of a guy and I know he’s trying to help but I’m just.

[EE]: Kinda freaking out, kinda having a nervous breakdown, and also angry out of my mind.

[HD]: ✒ Doesn’t Yukako normally get to be the therapist?

[EE]: Don’t do this, man, I’m already mad beyond belief and if another basilisk jumps out at me, I might just do what Okuyasu said and set this whole god dang thing on fire!

[EE]: If he can survive on a planet that’s always on fire, I’m ready to check my freaking chances!

[HD]: ✒ I’m out of my element here but I will say that setting your maze on fire seems like an absolutely terrible idea.

[HD]: ✒ So don’t do that.

[EE]: I’m sorry I’m just 

[EE]: I’m stressed but I’m making decent enough time to where I was before I jumped home.

[EE]: Enemy fluids still stay around for a while, gross as it sounds, so at least I don’t have to go 100% by memory…

[EE]: And the glowstick juice is pretty easy to spot.

[EE]: I’m already on the second level again.

[EE]: Shit just adds up

[EE]: Wait I forgot to space that out.

[HD]: ✒ It doesn’t matter: you’re in a moment.

[EE]: I’m getting to more enemies I guess so I’ll have to hurry this up.

[EE]: TLDR, uh, if there is something after all of this, I’m getting proper therapy; not just second hand therapy from Yukako.

After a conversation you’re read already before the unknowing stabbing of a teenager, Rohan was growing more and more frustrated. Packing up his bag of weaponized pen nibs and storming out of his house, he huffed to himself.

ROHAN: ✒ Great! Just great!

He stands out on his porch, hands on his hips as imps look up at him from the segment of suburbia so awkwardly jammed into this indie-horror looking hellscape he is doomed to reside in.

ROHAN: ✒ You. Get the hell off of my lawn.

The imps looked between each other before making loud snickering noises and continuing their impy business. Rohan stomps down his stairs, rolling up his sleeves with his face scrunched in anger. An imp squinted up at him with a hiss before his louboutin wedged itself in the closest approximation to a groin these things could possess, punting it into the inky sea. The others screamed and shrieked at him, priming themselves to pounce on him.

Rohan was in no such mood to deal with any of the bullshit wishing to jump rope with his insides.

TH: Look out below!

Rohan looked down at his phone then up to see….a bathtub splattered with imp fluids with a captchalogue card fluttering down after it.

HD: ✒ Okuyasu

HD: ✒ Do you care to explain why you almost killed me with a bathtub?

TH: Oh shit

TH: It musta fell out the card.

HD: ✒ The card…

TH: Yeah!

TH: I was thinkin on whatd be an easier way to get shit to people instead of giving them the codes then I realized I could just have Keicho fly up to those gate things and throw the card in.

TH: That way I also dont just have a buncha extra shit laying around.

HD: ✒ A good plan but why of all things did you decide a bathtub would be the best possible option to test this with!?!

TH: It was the first card I grabbed. :x)

HD: ✒ Well that was

HD: ✒ Wait, why did you even have a bathtub card!?

TH: I gotta make boats and its the most boat shaped things in the apartment.

TH: WAIT FUCK YUKAKO HAS A BOAT! IM AN IDIOT!

HD: ✒ Well can you promptly get this tub out of my yard

  
HD: ✒ Or at least kill the rest of these imps with it?

TH: Alrighty let me just….

Rohan stood expectantly as he watched the tub get lifted up, quickly chucked into a small group of imps; pins to a bowling ball. Any that were spared the rampage of the tub quickly dove into the black sea, Okuyasu chucking the tub after them and watching it sink into the abyss.

TH: God this is just like titanic.

HD: ✒ No, not really.

TH: What no way dude

TH: It’s like the scene where the dude gets in the fridge to survive but then it sinks and shit.

HD: …

HD: ✒ That was Indina Jones, Okuyasu.

HD: ✒ And I believe it was a nuclear explosion in that movie.

TH: FUCK!

HD: ✒ Well aside from doing my dirty work; how were you planning to make that tub into a boat?   


TH: Hold on let me actually do that thing. Gimmie a sec.

HD: ✒ Should I take cover or do you have a plan this time?

TH: Uh…..I’d say….hm.

TH: WAIT I THINK I GOT SOMETHIN! SIT TIGHT!

Rohan sat down on his porch, looking up to the spinning rings above him. Soon enough, something fluttered down: an envelope with a large caricature of Rohan drawn poorly on its back in green marker. It flipped and swirled down from the gate and right before fluttering right before his mailbox...Wind, sleet, snow or shine, he supposes.

HD: ✒ Package received.

HD: ✒ Also, is this supposed to be me?

TH: Yeah. Its for if me or Keicho fuck up and send it to the wrong gate.

TH: And save the comments I know it looks like shit.

HD: ✒ It’s very…..stylized.

TH: Just get your fuckin boat.

He opened the envelope and found the creation within it was just as haphazard as the art. From eyeballing it, Rohan could only guess it’s the unlawful combination of a bathtub, an air mattress, a motorcycle and a hair dryer; the unholy union resulting in what appeared to be a porcelain version of a hovercraft used in those Florida tours. The off white of the tub combined with the greys of the motor and air mattress made it look like the dream vehicle of a sad clown from New Orleans. As unpleasant it was to look at, it would be serviceable.

HD: ✒ It will do just fine, Okuyasu. Thank you.

TH: Ah no sweat it man. I made one for Josuke too since hes got swamp for days.

TH: Id get one for Jotaro too but he said he was fine doing his own stuff.

HD: ✒ That seems to be a theme of his.

TH: Well I gotta work on my own questy shit. Keichos on my butt to stop just making random crap.

HD: ✒ Well I hope your...creations...are helpful in that endeavour.

TH: Hell yeah!

TH: Lets fuck up some monsters and junk!

Rohan tried to not smile at the obvious excitement of his server player, shoving his phone in his pocket and stepping into the tub and revving the engine up. As the rotor burst to life and the fan on the back blasted, Rohan gripped the sides frantically as he took the controls to try and steer this madness. Being a bathtub, Rohan was doing a lot of sliding with every turn: screaming and cursing Okuyasu as he is blasted too and fro with splashes of ink. He managed to push the accelerator back, slowing the tub down to a reasonable speed before angrly opening his phone again.

HD: ✒ Okuyasu, this boat is a floating rodeo bull and I am absolutely livid!

HD: ✒ I could have DIED!   
TH: Oh shit! I guess the bike gave it too much kick. Gotta tell Josuke to go easy on the gas.

HD: ✒ SO YOU DIDN’T EVEN TEST IT?

TH: Dude my planet is on fire 24/7 why the hell would I need a boat?

HD: ✒ That’s it, I’m back to hating you.

HD: Well let me know when you’re done.

He slowly pushed at the gas, getting a hang of the oomph of the combo-ed engine. From just the massive push from his scrub-a-dub-hellride got him quite a long ways away from his house. The floating islands suspended by these nonsensical ink-falls housing reaching hands and temples of absolutely abhorrent architecture; architecture he was forced to endure.

Just stepping foot into one annoyed Rohan to no end; each one more garish and bullshit than the last. Puzzles were mindless children’s games; match the picture, do the rat maze, god damn simon says! Each room seemed to be an insult to his intelligence, and one he took to heart at that. He had personal trauma to sift through already, so being able to divert his brain to that rather than actual challenges was appreciated, but he was none the less peeved by this. As he moved a stick through another stupid maze, he probed his brain some more…

Okuyasu had said that his dreams started after trauma so great that it would hang like a shroud over anyone who wasn’t so tragically stupid...But it did have a mark on him...Rohan has written a lot of people together and he found that stupidity and childishness, on top of general esteem issues, could also be a coping mechanism… So Rohan would have to just find out his, kick it down, and get into the meat and potatoes of his personal demons just to know what the fuck is going on, right?

HD: ✒ Yukako, are you busy?

LD: No, but that may change depending on what you ask.   


HD: ✒ I need your help exposing my trauma.

LD: ….Pardon?

HD: ✒ You’ve been to therapy and know some psychoanalysts.

HD: ✒ Putting myself under the mental microscope myself would be counterproductive due to possible mental blocks and the like.

HD: ✒ So I need you as a sort of buffer between myself.

LD: ….You’re asking me to undo years of therapy for what reason?

HD: ✒ Okuyasu’s told you about those dreams he has, right?

HD: ✒ Well, I have a very fleeting memory of a very similar kind of dream, but I was only able to recall doing it once where Okuyasu has them nightly.

HD: ✒ And it has been driving me up the wall.

LD: Any mental health official or reasonable person would say this is crazy and stupid.

LD: I, however, am neither of these things; start trauma searching.   


LD: When did you have the dream? Then you can work backwards.

HD: ✒ I believe it was when I was 4?

LD: Oh that’s got to be real fuzzy…

HD: ✒ Extremely.

HD: ✒ All I can think of is a city of just

HD: ✒ Purple. So much god damn purple.

HD: ✒ Purple and black.

HD: ✒ But the room...I think the room was green?

HD: ✒ Yes, the room was green.

LD: Paint that mental picture, my man. How did you feel in the room?

HD: ✒ I think...Hm…

HD: ✒ Scared? I think I remember shaking.

LD: Your family - was it something to do with them?   


LD: Familial trauma is one of the most common varieties.

HD: ✒ No, I know it wasn’t that. My parents are both- well, were alive and well before this.

HD: ✒...But I think I remember a vacation? Or just a trip they went on.

He steps out of the latest temple, bag of useless bullshit in one hand and his phone in the other. He slides into the tub-boat, focusing fully on the flicker of a memory.

LD: And you were….Home?

HD: ✒ I think so…

LD: So did something happen when you were home alone?

HD: ✒ I don’t remember…

LD: Well try and piece things up a bit slower then.

LD: Do you remember where your parents were? That should be general enough.

HD: ✒ It was- Wait, it wasn’t a vacation. It was a work thing.

LD: So your parents were rather well off? Seeing as both of them had to attend and all.

LD: So what about who was watching you.

HD: ✒ Who was watching me?   


HD: ✒ Hm….

He lays back in that tub, eyes closed, as he racks his brain even harder. He thinks of his old house: his mother’s garden, his father’s porch, the tree he tried to climb once only to fall and swear off trees for a week. He tries to mentaly enter the house, picking at fuzzy details out of place from when he last visited his family…

He remembers a dripping sound, though that may have been a product of the dripping ink around him. Still, he follows it through the house of his memory…   
A door is locked that shouldn’t be able to lock- his own bedroom door.

HD: ✒ This may sound mad, but I’ve tried to visualize that time.

LD: And?

HD: ✒ I think I found it.   


HD: ✒ The trauma.   


HD: ✒ Door’s locked.

LD: Well? Kick that psychological door right the fuck down.

LD: Commit to the bit.

HD: ✒ ...How do you mentally kick down a door?

LD: Didn’t your therapist teach you about visualization meditation?   


LD: Just fuckin wind up and kick it.

HD: ✒ You seem weirdly excited about this.

HD: ✒ And weirdly crass.

LD: It's been a slow day for me: Koichi hasn’t been on in a while and my planet is boring.

LD: But forget about me; go claim your trauma!

LD: Take the bull by the horns.

HD: ✒ To continue the bull analogy; if I get gored???

LD: You can just do therapy again.

LD: A bull can always be put back in the paddock if it’s a big enough asshole.

LD: Now go reverse-cowgirl your inner demons.   


HD: ✒ I feel like this analogy has gotten too far…

HD: ✒ And I am also sure you don’t know what “Reverse-Cowgirl” is...

LD: Just do the damn thing.

Putting his phone in his pocket, he leans back…   
He returns to the house in his head, before the door to his trauma paddock. He thinks hard about every movie he’s seen where a door gets kicked down, trying not to get distracted by the fact that he can’t remember half the names of the films but it still is common enough to stick with him. Inability to remember films aside, the door is pressed in by a kick that, should it have been by his own physical self, would have likely done more damage to his legs than the wood. When the door hit the floor, it sounded...wet. He looks into the room before him, holding his hand to his mouth. A figure is bathed in shadow before the bed, featureless but armed with a kitchen knife. On the bed, spattered with blood, was a girl…

  
Rohan: Reimi…

His eyes shoot open in both fear and triumph. He unlocked his mental barricade! Sure any licensed psychiatrist would say that that was a terrible idea, but neither him nor Yukako were licensed so surely that makes it okay! His suffering, while allowing him access to that city of pitch, would make superb performance art or even inspiration for his coming manga! ...A manga that no one else can really read...because Earth is kinda fucked...Oh boy…

HD: ✒ I did it, Yukako!

HD: ✒ Yukako!

He stares down at his phone, not a shimmer of a reply to be seen… With the adrenaline fading, he was left with a hanging sadness… He chugged the shitty little boat along, waiting for any reply as he occasionally spelunked a temple or hit imps with his vessel.

Frankly, this fucking sucked.

He had no real objective besides those temples now, and he had just opened padora’s box: releasing repressed trauma and the accompanying stress into his brain.. He lays down in the tub, the weird “waves” of the ink slowly rocking the vessel..He fought for this, right? Just….go to sleep then…

His eyes flicker open to….Green.   
He jolts up in a bedroom that was befitting a child, though some of his current taste seems to have been literally thrown in recently. And...Wait, what the hell was he wearing?   
It was loose and a shade of purple that brought to mind “grape” medicine. He throws the blanket off and runs to a window, looking out expecting blue skies and clouds whispering the future to him...but found only black. He then looks down, seeing peculiar little things down below his tower: black, shiny and clad in sharp uniforms. They looked between themselves before looking back up to him, one even pulling out a camera and blinding him with its flash. He stumbles back, rubbing his eyes before squinting again around the room…. No computer or phone in sight, he realizes, so he’s flying solo here...Flying...Wait: it’s a dream, so he should be able to do that no problem, right? He steps cautiously out into the window of the amethyst dome, looking out into the deep black beyond him.

“Leap”, it told him.

“Leap once again, long lost dreamer.”

He brings himself to stand fully in the arch of the window, eyes continually locked with the abyss beyond his comprehension.

“We’ve waited”, it says to him as his slippers scooch to the point of no return. “Oh so long.”

He steps….and steps again…

“There is an interloper,” calls the darkness. “A wonderful anomaly…”   
  


ROHAN: ✒ What do you-

The darkness stops him with a sound he cares not to try and parse, knowing it was enough to bring pain to him in a way beyond the means of volume.

“Look and question nothing: know that it is only truth.”

The darkness’ whispers blur his vision until he sees something...something else on this ball of purple...A sprite sitting on a slab of red with a cyan slab and a purple slab on either side of him...The sprite looks up to him, and only then does Rohan realize that it was not just his vision that had moved, but himself…

ROHAN: ✒ What the-   


JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 AH FUCK ME   


ROHAN: ✒ Pardon!?   


ROHAN: ✒ Wait, Jotaro? What are you doing here? And why are you-   


JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 SO HE WASN’T LYING! GOD DAMN IT!

ROHAN: ✒ …   


JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU THEN?

ROHAN: ✒ Rohan Kishibe? The one that helped you set up in the game?

ROHAN: ✒ Did you prototype yourself!? What in god’s name were you thinking there?   


ROHAN: ✒ Wait, and I thought you put the fish at the end of-   


JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡OH MY GOD FUCKIN CRAM IT!

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 ONE QUESTION AT A TIME, DAMN IT.   


JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 I DIDN’T PRO- WELL I TECHNICALLY DID, BUT IT WASN’T  **ME** .   


JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 IT WAS THE STUPID FUCKING TEEN VERSION OF ME THAT DID THIS!   


ROHAN: ✒ Wait, teen version? What? No, there’s-   


JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 SOME CHUCKLEFUCK IN A WHITE COAT AND BAD OLD AGE MAKEUP USING  **MY** FUCKING HOUSE!

There is a poignant pause; a pause so immense that creating it with ellipses would waste everyone’s time…

ROHAN: ✒….This game has fucking time travel, doesn’t it?   


JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 FUCKING  **APPARENTLY** !   


JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 I COULDN’T QUITE HEAR HIS EXPLANATION OVER ALL THE FUCKING TUTORIALS BEAMED INTO MY GOD DAMN BRAIN!

ROHAN: ✒ ...Did the tutorials say anything about this place?

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 YARE YARE DAZE

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 YOU FIND OUT YOUR SO CALLED FRIEND IS A BODY SNATCHER BUT WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THAT!? 

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 IT’S TUTORIAL TIME!

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 MAYBE THE NEXT ONE YOU ASK FOR IS HOW TO GIVE A SHIT? 

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡EVEN I HAVEN’T READ THAT ONE! 

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 IT’LL BE AN ADVENTURE FOR THE BOTH OF US!

ROHAN: Σ:T

ROHAN: ✒ I feel bad for you, really, but what am I supposed to do?   


ROHAN: ✒ Or even SAY to that?    


ROHAN: ✒ Sorry you got body snatched?

ROHAN: ✒ Sorry about being the subject of the most convoluted identity theft in the history of man?   


JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡I DON’T KNOW BUT IT’S BETTER THAN NOTHING.

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 IT’S DERSE: YOU GO HERE WHEN YOU’RE ASLEEP FOR VAGUE PLOT REASONS.

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 HONESTLY THIS IS JUST THE MOON ALL THE BADDIES COME FROM: PROSPIT IS THE REAL SHIT. DERSE FUCKING BLOWS.

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 THE MONARCHS ARE THE FINAL BOSSES AND, LIKE ANYTHING ON PROSPIT, THEY HAVE SOME OF THE PARTS OF THE SHIT THAT GOT PROTYPED WHEN YOU ALL ENTERED.

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 INCLUDING ME.

ROHAN: ✒ Well that clears that up….

ROHAN: ✒ Now that begs the question then...Why are you-

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡ANGRY? OF COURSE I’M ANGRY! YOU WANNA KNOW WHY!?

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 I HAD A FUCKING DAUGHTER OUT THERE, DAMN IT.

ROHAN: Oh….

ROHAN: I was going to ask why you were here but holy hell.

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 YOU ASKED WHAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DO?   


JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 I’VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU TO DO.

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 KILL THAT SON OF A BITCH FOR ME.

ROHAN: ✒ I can try...but not promise.

ROHAN: ✒ If this game has time travel and he’s already done THIS to you, then-

He pauses, a wound opening silently across the moon on his shirt...

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 CAN HE TURN INVISIBLE TOO!? ARE YOU KIDDING M-

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 WAIT NO, THE TUTORIALS UPDATED.

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 FUCK.

ROHAN: ✒ What is….

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 YOUR WAKING SELF JUST GOT GOT.

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 WAIT A SECOND…

The sprite holds up it’s glowing pink fist to the hole in Rohan’s chest, the two overlaping perfectly.

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 HOLY SHIT I THINK HE JUST PUNCHED A GOD DAMN HOLE IN YOUR CHEST.

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 BUT HE MADE THESE SLAB THINGS SEEM KINDA IMPORTANT!

JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 SO GET ON!

Without giving Rohan time to protest or move, the sprite grabbed him by the shoulders and slammed him onto the red slab, the impact causing the wound on his dream self to squirt with blood before he simply faded out...

  
JOTAROSPRITE: >゜))))彡 wait that  ** _worked_ ** ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JOTAROSPRITE - #FF8EA1 Salmon Pink
> 
> I continue to show how much fun I have writing Yukako and now Jotarosprite is in the 'Fave Voice' running...Because he too fucking hates time travel.


End file.
